I canβt wait till my Wife and I have a our first baby.
Iβll hand them to her and say βHereβs the fruits of your labor.β
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
I canβt wait for New Years Eve
So on January 1st I can say βI guess hindsight is 2020!β
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
Canβt wait for the first married woman to walk on the red planet.
Just so I can ask if thereβs wife on Mars.
π︎ 59
π
︎ Nov 07 2020
Now that the Fall is officially here, I can't wait to make tons of extra money gathering leaves..
.. last year I raked it in.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
i can't wait to go to Hawaii
I know for sure that i will get leid upon arrival
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
Devil puns anyone? Lol also promoting Lucifer huhu canβt wait
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
I can't wait until the pandemic is over, and I can see the pun-based show my local theater troupe has been rehearsing.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 02 2020
I canβt wait for Halloween this year!
Everyone will be wearing masks!
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
Can't wait for this travel ban to lift. Prague would be my number one choice..
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jul 04 2020
Can't wait for Fast and Furious 10
It will be titiled "Fast 10: Your Seatbelts"
π︎ 617
π
︎ Apr 19 2018
I can't wait for the Korean blues singer to come to town!
I hear his sound is very Seoulful and reminiscent of the 70βs.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 06 2020
Iβve been prescribed anti-gloating cream... I can't wait to rub it in!
π︎ 141
π
︎ Sep 23 2019
What a lovely duo these two are. Can't wait for Lost In Space S2
π︎ 22
π
︎ Aug 04 2019
My dad can't wait for January 1st
It'll be the first time we'll be in 20/20
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 30 2019
Me: Canβt wait to see clearly next year..
My dad: What do you mean son? Your eyesights not that bad..
Me: Yes, but next year will be 2020.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 11 2019
I canβt wait for cremation
Iβll finally have that hot smoking bod I always wanted
π︎ 29
π
︎ Aug 19 2019
I can't wait until I'm 37
I'll really be in my prime.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 19 2017
I can't wait!, they're finally making The Watchmaker movie.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 14 2019
I can't wait for January 1, 2021
Then, hindsight will be 2020.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 09 2019
Canβt wait to see my buds
π︎ 40
π
︎ Mar 31 2019
I can't wait to understand instant gratification.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 03 2019
I've heard a lot of people are excited for Fast 9. I can't wait for the next one.
π︎ 34
π
︎ Jun 18 2019
Can't wait for summer, had enough of this...
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 05 2018
Canβt wait to get home and plug in my phone.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 07 2019
I canβt wait for the day my child says βdad, I think I have your sense of humorβ
So I can say to them
βYOU GIVE THAT BACK!β
π︎ 33
π
︎ Feb 12 2019
While my wife and I were dating in high school we were at this church lock in. I said, βCanβt wait till we get outta here and I can plant one on yaβ she said, βWhat kinda flowerβ
No hesitation I say, βTulipsβ
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 28 2019
I can't wait until my wife tells me that she is pregnant.
I have a pre-planned response of, "You're kidding me!".
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 15 2019
Canβt wait to see the new Netflix documentary on constipation
It hasnβt come out yet.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 25 2019
Why can't doctors ever wait?
Because they're not patient.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 20 2019
The inventor of the time machine is depressed, so I bet he can't wait to put this year ahead of him.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 31 2018
"I can't wait to eat that steak, Budapest will love it."
"Who's Budapest?"
"That's my stomach's name, because it's the capital of HUNGRY."
π︎ 20
π
︎ Feb 03 2018
I can't wait for Christmas this December, but the 31st will be stressful.
I've been diagnosed with old langxiety.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 14 2018
I can't wait until we're all gathered around the table and as we're about to eat, I'll ask my family as I do each and every year, "What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?"
And as the groans begin, I'll screech, "The letter G!"
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 22 2018
If you can't remember where you put your boomerang, just wait a minute...
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 25 2018
π︎ 75
π
︎ Nov 03 2016
I can't wait for ISIS...
π︎ 31
π
︎ Feb 15 2017
Can't wait for the day when my "dad jokes"...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 02 2017
I really can't wait to get my universal remote.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 04 2015
I can't wait for my wife to be pregnant.
At that point, I'm just always going to talk about the child in her.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 01 2016
Can't wait until my boy grows up so I can use these (3 month old)
"Dad, I'm hungry"
"Hi hungry I'm dad"
"Dad do u wanna play soccer with me"
"I would love to but it's not allowed to kick your kids"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 08 2016
From Grandfather to my Dad. I can't wait to use them
When checking out at the grocery store if toilet paper is one of the items purchased they will always ask the clerk: "Do you think this is enough toilet paper for this much food?"
When anyone is eating something spicy: "Better get some ice cream next, because in a few hours you're gonna be in the bathroom screaming COME ON ICE CREAM"
π︎ 28
π
︎ Aug 21 2013
I canβt wait until hindsight....
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
I canβt wait for this year to be over
Then I can say βhindsightβs 2020β.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 18 2020
I can't wait for the year 2021...
Because hindsight is 2020
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 30 2018
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