There once was a record store. The owner was seventy-four. One day he fell ill then wrote in his will , β€œbury me with records galore”

It was his vinyl resting place

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do you bury asphalt after it dies?

The cementary.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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I couldn't decide whether I should bury or cremate my grandfather.

I decided to do both and put him in a wooden urn. After hearing what I did he wood urn in his grave.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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When I die bury me on the weekend. Because the day I die will be sad,

But the funeral will be on a sadder day.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Keauxbi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did they bury the sick box underground?

Because it was a coffin

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Did you hear about the 500 pound man that they had to bury with a backhoe?

It was a huge undertaking.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the respectful way to bury a cow?

cream-ate them

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dangerfolf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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if you bury a cow, does that make them ground beef?
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coffinedude
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Ya know why you can’t bury a lava lamp?

It becomes a magma lamp

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/not_related_to_OJ
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do you bury someone with OCD

In a symmetry

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ouska31
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the pirate bury a painting of their past relationship, with their treasure?

Ex marks the spot.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrHollowed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to bury some old cookware but I couldn't find a spot anywhere to put my pans.

All I saw were potholes.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/red667
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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The old egyptians used to bury their pharaohs in several layers of coffins

This is also known as multicasking

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ancientmob
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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They bury women too imgur.com/TMOpsya
πŸ‘︎ 466
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KnotNotNaught
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2017
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Why do the Polish bury Germans 12 feet under ground?

Because really deep down they're good people.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lespinoza
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know why you are supposed to bury a politician 100ft down?

Deep down, they are good people.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mbradford03
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did they bury the cowboy on the hill?

Because he was dead.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/8_Bit_Zombies
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report
If you bury someone in the wrong place,

then you have made a grave mistake.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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My mother-in-law says I should bury myself in my work.

I don't think she likes me — I drive a cement mixer.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkenTree
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
🚨︎ report
In some countries they bury the dead with a bunch of bananas in hopes that a banana tree will grow.

I find it morbidly appealing.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LtMooch
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Sad day today, the gentleman who wrote the Hokey Pokey passed away but they couldn't bury him

They put his right arm in , he put his right arm out they put his left leg in, he put his left leg out..........

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paladium9999
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a stoner buries his stash?

A pothole.

πŸ‘︎ 169
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shitty_Orangutan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you know it took them 3 hours to bury the man who invented the Hokey Pokey?

They put his right foot in, they put his right foot out...

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mausoleum where you’d bury the Beatles?

The Lennon closet

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paxman2205
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Wonder where they'll bury Mandela, couldn't be at sea...

...theres only a part tide!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCatfish
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2013
🚨︎ report
Do you know what kind of people they bury in that graveyard?

Dead ones.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/misandry_andy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2015
🚨︎ report
"Why did they bury them?"

Today over supper, we were talking about a cemetery nearby which was recently discovered to contain centuries-old tombstones buried along with the corpses underground. I found this to be strange since typically the tombstones are above ground. During the conversation, this happened:

Me: "Why did they bury them?"

Dad: "Because they were dead!"

... the tombstones dad.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BananApocalypse
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2013
🚨︎ report
Where do you bury people with OCD

A symmetry

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MillcaYT
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report

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