The folks who live in my town aren’t allowed to be buried in the old cemetery on the edge of town.
Mostly because they’re not dead yet.
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Did you know there’s a law stating no one living within 5 miles of a cemetery can be buried there?
How many bodies are buried in Arlington National Cemetery?
Man: You buried my grandmother in the wrong plot!
Cemetery groundskeeper: I guess you can say I’ve made a grave mistake.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
What do you call a composer that’s dead and buried?
Did you know that lawyers are buried 12 feet deep when they die?
Apparently deep down they are good people.
I just went to go visit my late grandmother buried in the cemetery, but when I went there I found her dancing!
It was quite the Plot Twist
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
Why can't a man living in New York be buried in Chicago ?
What was the name of the Egyptian that was buried with chocolate and nuts?
The crossword fan asked to be buried 6ft down
Yesterday, I was digging in the garden when I found a buried treasure chest!
I ran inside to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in the garden...
The buried shoe.
Today I buried my shoe.
May it's sole Rest In Peace.
Want to know why being buried right now would be good?
Because you would be six feet away from everyone
People tend to be buried underground because...
They feel like it has a deeper meaning.
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...
The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.
Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."
So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.
He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
What did the widow who just buried her fourth husband say?
Another male in the coffin.
Anyone can be buried after they die...
But if you wanna get cremated, you've gotta urn it.
My friend Victoria told me she found secret buried treasure.
But she wouldn't tell me under where.
In most countries, it's common to see Dads mostly buried in the sand of beaches
Except in Mexico. There, they only burritos.
Where do dead cows get buried?
You'll be buried with small pupils if you pass away before dusk.
How will Juice Wrld be buried?
In a Juice box.
(Forgive me if too soon)
So I was passing by a cemetery with my dad today, and he turns to me and goes, "You know, people living in Denver can't be buried there" and I look at him and ask him "Why?"
He looks at me and says "Because they aren't dead yet".
What did the undertaker say when he realized he'd buried the wrong coffin?
I've made a grave mistake
My dad was buried alive...
"Dad: 'Did you know that all the people who live around here aren't allowed to be buried in that cemetery?'
me: 'Really? why not?'
dad: 'Because they're not dead yet.'
"Whenever we drive past a graveyard my dad says, 'Do you know why I can’t be buried there?' And we all say, 'Why not?' And he says, 'Because I’m not dead yet!'”
Mao Zedong wasn’t buried
His body lies in a Maosoleum
I had a dream about being buried by vodka bottles after an earthquake!
It was an Absolut nightmare! I am glad to have woken and seen the world and Skyy again...
While driving past a graveyard I turn to my passenger and say “That’s a really nice graveyard but they won’t let me be buried there”
and when they ask why not, as they will:
BECAUSE I’M NOT DEAD YET.
Got my daughter with this once a couple of years ago; she’s still mad about falling for it.
Gotten my girlfriend with it TWICE. Yeah, she’s a blonde.
What do you call a Mexican’s toe that was buried
The state just called to say they buried my grandpa in the wrong cemetery
Looks like they've made a grave mistake!
Today I found out the guy who invented the crossword puzzle is buried at my local cemetery
If you're looking for the headstone go 9 down 3 across.
I don't quite recall his name...
I think I was P something T something something...
My farmer next door wanted to buried in his products...
Did you hear about the Ancient Egyptian mummy they found buried with chocolate?
They identified him as Pharaoh Rocher.
Did you hear about the man buried alive accidentally?
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...
The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.
Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."
So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.
He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
Anyone can be buried after they die...
But if you wanna get cremated, you've gotta urn it.
Wanna know why I can't be buried in a cemetery?
How many dead people do you think are buried in that cemetery?
People living in our town aren't allowed to be buried in any cemetery.
Probably because they're still alive
To the person who buried the wrong body:
You made a grave mistake.
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