I went to the store to buy chicken broth...

but they said they were out of stock.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/watercolorfiddle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I was making chicken broth, but I used the chicken’s funny bone

You could say I made a laughing stock

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk?

The stock market.

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Can broth do it?

I dunno, but soup can!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrikamiPanio
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't you hate it when you go the store for chicken broth and they're all out?

Really makes you stop and take stock.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PickleFart69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Where is the best place to buy chicken broth?

The stock market!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Where does broth live?

Stockholm

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hamibh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2017
🚨︎ report
I never eat broths.

I guess youou could say I'm a bit souperstitious.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I made my fortune selling broth...

I guess you could say I’m a bouillonaire.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Idontreallycare13
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
🚨︎ report
A chef found that the second, third, fifth, seventh, 11th, etc. batches of broth he made would turn into simple organic molecules

Turns out it was prime ordinal soup!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Orlen86
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Why are bouncy castles getting so expensive?

Because of the inflation

πŸ‘︎ 111
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tahadalal5253
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I've decided to invest all my money in soup stocks

I want to be a bouillonaire.

πŸ‘︎ 380
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2ndbreakfastfan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when you boil a funny bone?

It becomes a laughing stock.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shishir-nsane
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Absolutely souper

The Chinese chef maliciously dumped a hot broth with dumplings on an obnoxious customer. It was a wanton soup attack....

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Getting rich...
πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlienApricot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work at a soup place where I'd start every interaction

"Chowder you guys doing today? Miso sorry for the puns, what can I get β€Žphở you, brother?"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iiWizrius
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

β€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, β€˜The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

β€œI’ll call you later!”- β€œPlease don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

β€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

β€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, β€˜No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: β€œWow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

β€œMe: β€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: β€˜Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

β€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

β€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

β€œWhat’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: β€œDon’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: β€œNo, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A Vietnamese restaurant just opened near the Large Hadron Collider.

Pho-Ton; they are known for their light broth.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chexmp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
If Van Halen opened up a soup kitchen...

It should be named David Lee Broth

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dufosho
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I saw a pair of midgets arguing in the kitchen and it made me think about that old saying...

Two mini cooks spoil the broth.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A raven walks into a restaurant. The waiter asks, would you like soups or salads?

Broth, the raven, nevermore

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fiddlethesticks
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
A man is auditioning for a role in an opera production the local opera company is putting on.

He's been practicing for this role for months. He goes down to the opera house on the day of the audition, only to find he's come down with a sore throat and can't hit his notes anymore. In a panic, he asks one of the directors if they can postpone his audition.

"I'm sorry," says the director, "but we can't delay an audition for just one performer. That would set a bad precedent. Instead, I'll let you in on a little opera house secret." The director pours the man a cup of warm, smelly liquid. "Drink this. It's a special tea to help your throat. The recipe has been passed down for decades in this opera company, and I guarantee it will make you able to sing again."

The man wrinkles up his nose and takes a swig. "Euch! This is... awful! What's in this tea anyways?"

"Well, it's a secret herbal tea blend made with... well... fish broth." The director replies. "Tuna, specifically. We've found it helps soothe the throat better than any other fish we've tried."

Sure enough the man is able to sing again! He hits all his notes and gives an exemplary performance.

At the end of the auditions, he finds the director that gave him the tea. "So... what did you think? Did I get the part or not?" He asks.

"I'm sorry," said the director, "you performed well, but we've decided to give the part to someone else."

"That's OK," the man says, "I'm just really grateful for the Opera-Tuna-Tea."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kojo2047
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Job at Campbell's Soup

My son got a job at Campbell's Soup. They no longer match 401k contributions, so I suggested he open a Broth IRA.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mudmonkeybtc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a hot tub full of chicken prostitutes?

A broth-el.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheVerjan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Why was the soup preoccupied?

He was stewing over something his broth-er said.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/all_three_bolth
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2017
🚨︎ report
Which rock star loves bouillon cubes?

David Lee Broth.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seasofcheese929
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2012
🚨︎ report
Dad got me last night while cooking dinner

I'm standing at the stove looking bored, cooking a spelt broth.

Dad: If you want to know when that's ready, you'll need to use speltcheck.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2015
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my fiancee over soup

So she loves cooking and decided to make this spicy chicken soup that you put over rice. So I'm eating and she asks

Her "how do like it"

Me "its really good"

Her "I tried something different with the broth what do you think?"

Me "I like it, its just a good thing you didn't have anyone helping you"

Her "what why?

Me "because too many cooks could spoil the broth"

I then continued to sing it and she hates me and the song/video.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JordoHatesYou
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2014
🚨︎ report
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk?

The stock market.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk?

The stock market.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk?

The stock market.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk?

The stock market.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FoxyGrandpa74
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Where can you get Chicken broth in bulk

The stock market

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alexanderlch
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Where does a businessman buy his broth?

The stock market.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/monstermunch158
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk?

The Stock Market

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mblondie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2017
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad joke on Thanksgiving.

Grandmother is making the dressing, and is adding several cans of Chicken Broth.

Dad: "You know where you can get that broth in bulk?"

Grandmother: "Where?"

Dad: "The stock market."

He was promptly kicked out of the kitchen.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ActionHobo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2013
🚨︎ report

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