Broke ny finger today
On the other hand i am ok
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
A horse broke into my room while I was asleep.
π︎ 117
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
I once dated two girls called Edith and Kate. Kate found out and told Edith that I was dating both of them at the same time. They both broke up with me on the very same day!
Moral of the story is you canβt have your Kate and Edith too
π︎ 36
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist.
I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.
π︎ 22k
π
︎ Aug 07 2020
Someone broke into my house last night and stole my limbo trophy
π︎ 40
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
My daughter broke her finger today,
but on the other hand she was completely fine.
π︎ 37
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
π︎ 25
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
My gf broke up with me due to my inability to express my feelings.
π︎ 239
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
Every machine in the coin factory broke down all of a sudden without explanation.
It just doesnβt make any cents.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
I broke up with my boyfriend because I realised heβs a communist
Now that I look back, there were a lot of red flags
π︎ 357
π
︎ Oct 10 2020
What did the sniper say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
Last night a thief broke into the shoe factory.
He was the sole perpetrator.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
My girlfriend broke up with me when she found out I only have 9 toes
She was lack toes intolerant
π︎ 177
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
My belt broke, so I used my watch strap to fix it.
They fell down anyway. What a waist of time.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
Broke up with my girlfriend after telling her I loved her.
She told me she loves U2, I just can't be with someone with a bad taste in music.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
I have a co-worker who claimed for years that he hates Christmas. He finally broke down and told me he secretly loves it, he just has a reputation to maintain.
He finally came out of the Santa Claus-et.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
Just happened: my contractor broke a window during our nearly complete renovation
He turned to me and said it's no problem. At this stage it's just a pane.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 04 2020
I broke my finger last week.
On the other hand I'm ok.
π︎ 119
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
A man broke his leg in three places. He went to his doctor for advice.
βStop going to those places!β
π︎ 34
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
Broke a leg , it hurts so much
Had to take my friend to the hospital
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
A midget psychic broke out of jail.
Itβs a small medium at large situation.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
My wheelchair bound girlfriend broke up with me.
I think it was because she couldnβt stand me.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he broke down into tears.
He turned towards me and said, "One would've been enough, son."
π︎ 924
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
I threw some pills and accidentally broke one of my windows.
I didnβt realize they were pane killers.
π︎ 83
π
︎ Oct 18 2020
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend
but he kept asking her for another shot.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
Where did the pear go when it was broke
To the re-pear shop.
Credit goes to my friend who is a dad, and thought this was original.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
two exes were tied together by a string but it broke
guess there was too much tension between them
π︎ 22
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
A thief broke into a guy's house, stole his stuff, killed the man, and turned him into a large cupβ¦
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
My girlfriend broke up with me so i stole her wheelchair
Guess who came crawling back
π︎ 193
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
One of the Russian acrobats in our human pyramid has broke his back.
We didnβt have Oleg to stand on.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
I just broke my finger...
But on the other hand, Iβm okay.
π︎ 45
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
My son's pet frog broke his leg yesterday
π︎ 129
π
︎ Sep 13 2020
What did the broke guy order at the strip clubβs βlegs βnβ eggsβ show?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
It wasnβt much fun when I broke my neck in an accident a few months ago.
But now I can look back and laugh.
π︎ 211
π
︎ Aug 24 2020
A man was enjoying his burger when someone broke the news to him that it was made out of 'Horse Meat'. Suddenly he went into a fit and started choking. Two hours upon rushing him to the hospital........
.......His condition is now known to be 'Stable'
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
What do you call a judge who broke the law?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
When Cheech and Chong broke up...
I wonder if they had to fight over joint custody?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
This just in: 2 men broke into the city bank using nothing more than a few mannequin limbs.
Officials say we are dealing with an armed robbery
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
The strap broke off my Covid respirator...
...but I was able to fix it with masking tape.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
My girlfriend broke up with me after she discovered I only have 9 toes
She was lack toes intolerant
π︎ 22
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but...
.
.
.
He kept asking for another shot.
π︎ 66
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
Someone broke into my garage last night and stole my limbo stick!
How could they go so low?
π︎ 45
π
︎ Sep 16 2020
My pet frog broke his leg this morning...
π︎ 33
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.