Broke ny finger today

On the other hand i am ok

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ahmed8117600
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A horse broke into my room while I was asleep.

It was a nightmare.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 117
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WinterWolf041
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I once dated two girls called Edith and Kate. Kate found out and told Edith that I was dating both of them at the same time. They both broke up with me on the very same day!

Moral of the story is you can’t have your Kate and Edith too

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/redirishlad
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist.

I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JBiff09
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone broke into my house last night and stole my limbo trophy

How low can you go?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter broke her finger today,

but on the other hand she was completely fine.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/theuselessfuck
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt

I’m still in de-Nile

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AudenWolfe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My gf broke up with me due to my inability to express my feelings.

Can't say I'm surprised

πŸ‘οΈŽ 239
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/i_am_dan17
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Every machine in the coin factory broke down all of a sudden without explanation.

It just doesn’t make any cents.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I broke up with my boyfriend because I realised he’s a communist

Now that I look back, there were a lot of red flags

πŸ‘οΈŽ 357
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vicki_vicki
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the sniper say to his girlfriend after they broke up?

I won't miss you!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Santosh_Devadiga
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Last night a thief broke into the shoe factory.

He was the sole perpetrator.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Golden365
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend broke up with me when she found out I only have 9 toes

She was lack toes intolerant

πŸ‘οΈŽ 177
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ode_majka
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My belt broke, so I used my watch strap to fix it.

They fell down anyway. What a waist of time.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Broke up with my girlfriend after telling her I loved her.

She told me she loves U2, I just can't be with someone with a bad taste in music.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PoweRz-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp

I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a co-worker who claimed for years that he hates Christmas. He finally broke down and told me he secretly loves it, he just has a reputation to maintain.

He finally came out of the Santa Claus-et.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/barthm1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Just happened: my contractor broke a window during our nearly complete renovation

He turned to me and said it's no problem. At this stage it's just a pane.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I broke my finger last week.

On the other hand I'm ok.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 119
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dreadaussie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A man broke his leg in three places. He went to his doctor for advice.

β€œStop going to those places!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Broke a leg , it hurts so much

Had to take my friend to the hospital

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Salvatoz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A midget psychic broke out of jail.

It’s a small medium at large situation.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VictorHelios1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My wheelchair bound girlfriend broke up with me.

I think it was because she couldn’t stand me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he broke down into tears.

He turned towards me and said, "One would've been enough, son."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 924
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I threw some pills and accidentally broke one of my windows.

I didn’t realize they were pane killers.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 83
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend

but he kept asking her for another shot.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Where did the pear go when it was broke

To the re-pear shop.

Credit goes to my friend who is a dad, and thought this was original.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MOSTLYNICE
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
two exes were tied together by a string but it broke

guess there was too much tension between them

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/squintyeyes101
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A thief broke into a guy's house, stole his stuff, killed the man, and turned him into a large cup…

… he was mugged.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KonoAnonDa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend broke up with me so i stole her wheelchair

Guess who came crawling back

πŸ‘οΈŽ 193
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/macdemsugar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
One of the Russian acrobats in our human pyramid has broke his back.

We didn’t have Oleg to stand on.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the_houser
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I just broke my finger...

But on the other hand, I’m okay.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 45
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lickslicki538
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My son's pet frog broke his leg yesterday

He was very unhoppy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 129
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ineedapapaya
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the broke guy order at the strip club’s β€˜legs β€˜n’ eggs’ show?

A pair of frittatas.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JumpinJaccFlash
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
It wasn’t much fun when I broke my neck in an accident a few months ago.

But now I can look back and laugh.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 211
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was enjoying his burger when someone broke the news to him that it was made out of 'Horse Meat'. Suddenly he went into a fit and started choking. Two hours upon rushing him to the hospital........

.......His condition is now known to be 'Stable'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a judge who broke the law?

Criminal Justice

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Der-Kommissar-III
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
When Cheech and Chong broke up...

I wonder if they had to fight over joint custody?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
This just in: 2 men broke into the city bank using nothing more than a few mannequin limbs.

Officials say we are dealing with an armed robbery

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/icemage27
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
The strap broke off my Covid respirator...

...but I was able to fix it with masking tape.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend broke up with me after she discovered I only have 9 toes

She was lack toes intolerant

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/baconlover09
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but...

. . . He kept asking for another shot.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 66
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/saiyyanwarrior
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone broke into my garage last night and stole my limbo stick!

How could they go so low?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 45
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My pet frog broke his leg this morning...

He’s very unhoppy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.