My experiment of cross breeding a hen with a Slinky has failed...

Alas, I've no spring chicken!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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Scientists finally had success breeding a donkey and a coyote!

They named it Don Quixote.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisisbensmith
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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What is the result of breeding two redhead bakers?

A GingerBreed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr0u4ker
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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Why wasn’t the horse interested in breeding in the barn?

He was more hoping for a stable relationship.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nftpc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
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I’m going to stop working and start breeding horses.

It’s a stable business.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnIsAnAsshole
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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I failed my python breeding class because of a late assignment.

My homework ate my dog.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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Canada recently passed legislation that will ban keeping or breeding whales and dolphins in captivity

Guess you can say marineland has lost its porpoise

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Afraidcoast229
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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Rabbit breeding

A hare raising experience

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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I'm thinking about breeding rabbits

But I've heard it can be pretty hare raising.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan-Quixote
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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Scientists were excited to announce the successful cross-breeding of Lassie and a cantaloupe.

However, it was a melancholy baby.

(Credit to Calvin & Hobbes).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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A man was downsized from his job for the third time in 2 years so he decided to take up horse breeding.

He heard it was a stable job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/batj00
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2018
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After failing as a teacher, my brother tried his hand at insect-arachnid cross-breeding.

I'm getting tired of his stupid ant-ticks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
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A friend has deer using her property as a breeding ground. Some people would be mad, but cut them some slack. After all...

...they're just trying to make a buck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2017
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Dog Breeding

So one of my coworkers has like six Shih Tzu dogs that she wants to breed. One of her friends just got a French Bulldog puppy. She told me that when the puppy was old enough to be able to breed with her dogs she could have French Bullshih Puppies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atavistatom
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2014
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Never knew this breed existed
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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What do you get when you breed a cantaloupe with a Scottish Sheepdog?

A melon-collie baby.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OccamsBeard
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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What do you call a cat that can’t breed?

Il-litterate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoteppeter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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I invented the cure for Covid, it's made of my own breed of coffee.

I call it the Mcafee antivirus

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aglaz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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Nobody cares about Golden Retrievers
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Why dont eagles and eels breed?

Because its eeleagle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlobbyChong
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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Hairdressers are the most corrupt breed...

They're always making shortcuts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Persons1001
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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I went to a zoo once and all it had were dogs, I saw this breed I didn’t recognize.

Then I realized, it was a shit zoo

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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I can do calf raises just by mooving it.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lifeboat777
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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What do you get when you breed an elephant with a rhinoceros?

El if I know!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rule62Club
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Did you know you can change the breed of your poodle by teaching it to giggle on command?

It will change the breed of your dog into a snicker-doodle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Youtuatoot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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Why don’t owls breed in the rain?

Because it’s too wet to woo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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What are scientists favorite dog breed?

Labs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/youcomebeforeyou
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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Apparently, there's a big market for an expensive breed of cow that only eats marijuana plants.

The steaks are high.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuicyPotato21
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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what do you call a dog breed, bred to hear really well?

what do you call a dog breed bred to hear really well?

corn bread

*this was a pun i made a while ago to see how many puns i could fit in a short joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDragonInNight
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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My uncle's wife started a pet store that specialized in one breed of dog only...

She closed due to terrier-able sales.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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Elaborate, what's your favorite dog breed ?

Elaborador

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nadimazar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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Be careful if you decide to breed rabbits

I've heard that it's a real hare raising experience

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheerfulsith
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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Why don’t you breed an eel with an eagle?

It’s Eeleagle

πŸ‘︎ 772
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swoholo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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How to Castrate a Bull, in Limerick Form

I've two bulls who just love to fight //
they simply cannot be polite //
Just one needs to breed //
and so I'll proceed //
to castrate the weak one tonight

The procedure is safe, I insist //
if we make the blood flow desist //
to make bleeding halt //
do the "ball somersault" //
and give that whole sack a huge twist

To do this requires no skill //
I'll just need a quite large power-drill //
and a specialized clamp //
to hold on to that champ //
then turn it on fast- what a thrill!

It is clear this device should appeal //
to those who need bulls with less zeal //
I shall name this device //
with a drill and a vise //
the most perfect of names: "Steering Wheel!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chordus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?

Any dog. Buildings can’t jump.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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Me and some other guys like to get together at the local supermarket to show off our rare breed black-feathered chickens. New guy today mustn't have understood because...

There was an unexpected white hen in the bragging area

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mittenshape
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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So apparently there's now a mutated virus specifically targeting people who have worthless, aggressive, mixed breed dogs.

The cur owner virus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AarGee1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Edgar Allen Poe's favorite breed of dog?

A melancholy

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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What's the saddest breed of dog?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/logan_btw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
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A man goes into a pet store to buy a puppy to keep his horses company in their stable.

"What's the best breed for horses like those you'd see in the old west movies," he asks the owner, "my mares are just like that." The owner thinks for a minute, then replies "Dachshund."

The man is surprised, and replies "are you sure about that? I was picturing something bigger that wouldn't get trampled on." The owner nods, and says "Yup, it's just like the movies - if you want your horses to behave, you get a long little doggie."

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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A man decides to fulfill his lifelong dream of owning a horse, and goes to a local breeder

Not having much knowledge of the animals, he asks the owner to show him around and tell him about different breeds. "Sure, let's go," says the owner, and brings him over to the paddocks.

"So a lot depends on what you want the animal for," he says, and gestures to a powerful stallion running laps. "Over there, you've got your Type A horse: strong, fast, and a little unpredictable, but great if you want to get somewhere in a hurry."

"I think that'd be a little much for me," the man says, and the owner nods, then brings him over to see a mare quietly chomping at some hay in the shade. "This is a Type B horse - tends to be quiet and they're good companions, but not much for doing work."

The man pauses to think about what he wants the animal for, then looks over at a nearby pond and sees a horse swimming and diving over and over again. "What the heck is that one doing?" he asks the owner. "Oh, him? That's a C horse."

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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How do you say "Sup dawg?" in Japanese?

Konichihuahua

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LopsidedVader
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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What Breed of Dog is Always Sad?

A Mellon Collie

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IceCold_Kelvin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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What do get when a bulldog and a shitzu Breed?

Bullshit!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lockdoggs15
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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My uncle used to breed and sell parakeets...

they were flying off the shelves but he switched to chickens and they didn't take off. So he tried ducks and then it was all bills, bills, bills.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lineman5
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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Why can’t you breed an eel with an eagle?

It’s Eeleagle.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't you breed an eel with an eagle?

It's eeleagle...

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_the_black_hole
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't you breed an eel with an eagle?

Because it's eeleagle.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kirbykooll
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report

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