Dog Breeding

So one of my coworkers has like six Shih Tzu dogs that she wants to breed. One of her friends just got a French Bulldog puppy. She told me that when the puppy was old enough to be able to breed with her dogs she could have French Bullshih Puppies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atavistatom
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2014
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I went to a zoo once and all it had were dogs, I saw this breed I didn’t recognize.

Then I realized, it was a shit zoo

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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What are scientists favorite dog breed?

Labs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/youcomebeforeyou
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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what do you call a dog breed, bred to hear really well?

what do you call a dog breed bred to hear really well?

corn bread

*this was a pun i made a while ago to see how many puns i could fit in a short joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDragonInNight
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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My uncle's wife started a pet store that specialized in one breed of dog only...

She closed due to terrier-able sales.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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Elaborate, what's your favorite dog breed ?

Elaborador

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nadimazar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?

Any dog. Buildings can’t jump.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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Nobody cares about Golden Retrievers
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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So apparently there's now a mutated virus specifically targeting people who have worthless, aggressive, mixed breed dogs.

The cur owner virus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AarGee1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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What is Edgar Allen Poe's favorite breed of dog?

A melancholy

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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What's the saddest breed of dog?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/logan_btw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
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What Breed of Dog is Always Sad?

A Mellon Collie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IceCold_Kelvin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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New dog breeds!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acadiel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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What’s Waluigi’s favorite dog breed

A chiWAHWAH

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πŸ‘€︎ u/potato_potterhead
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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I believe it's wrong for humans to selectively breed dogs until their faces are smashed flat and they can't breathe normally.

Hugs not pugs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wrethlig
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
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What breed of dog does a ghost have?

A Yorkshee Terroror.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/objectional
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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Dachshund's are a cowboy's favorite dog breed.

They're always telling everyone to get a long little doggie!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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Did you know there is a breed of dog that loves science?

You can tell which one it is because they're always wearing a lab coat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScotchHarbour
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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In 2017, the top breed of dog on Google was the Golden Retriever.

Second and third place went to the silver and bronze retrievers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/randomion
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
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How do you say "Sup dawg?" in Japanese?

Konichihuahua

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LopsidedVader
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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Just making some breadfast
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spookyAGENT
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
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Did you know you can change the breed of your poodle by teaching it to giggle on command?

It will change the breed of your dog into a snicker-doodle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Youtuatoot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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What do you call a barking dog in the Arctic?

A sub-woofer

Thanks for sorting by new you are doing a great job :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Got_A_Hatt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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One-line vampire jokes for Halloween

What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?

Lots of blood tests!

Why did Dracula’s mother give him cough medicine?

Because he was having a coffin fit.

Why did the vampire’s lunch give him heartburn?

It was a stake sandwich.

Dracula decided he needed a dog, which breed did he choose?

A bloodhound.

What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?

Fangsgiving.

What did the vampire say to the Invisible Man?

β€˜Long time, no see!’

Why is Dracula so unpopular?

Because he’s a pain in the neck!

http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/one-line-vampire-jokes-for-halloween/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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Abbott and Costello talk about Lou's new dog

(From Abbott and Costello’sΒ radio show, December 30, 1943)
Lou Costello: Oh, Abbott, the worst thing just happened to me!
Bud Abbott: No!
Lou Costello: Yeah, Mrs. Niles gave me a dog for a Christmas present, and the dog just took a great big bite out of me!
Bud Abbott: Where did he bite you?
Lou Costello: Well, if I’d have been wearing a license plate, he’d have gotten the last three numbers.
Bud Abbott: Where did this happen?
Lou Costello: Well, let me see, where did this happen β€” in a crowded streetcar. It was the first time I ever gave my seat to a dog.
Bud Abbott: Well, never mind that. What kind of a dog did Mrs. Niles give you?
Lou Costello: Do you remember that famous dog, Strongheart?
Bud Abbott: Yes, I remember Strongheart.
Lou Costello: Well, this is his brother β€” Weak Stomach.
Bud Abbott: Listen, I’m not talking about that. What is the dog’s breed?
Lou Costello: What does he breed? He breeds through his nose, like you and me!
Bud Abbott: No, no, no, you dummy, what kind of dog is he? Spitz?
Lou Costello: No, but he drools a little.
Bud Abbott: Look, there are different types of dogs, such as Setters, and Pointers, …
Lou Costello: That’s it, Abbott! He’s a Setter-Pointer!
Bud Abbott: A Setter-Pointer?
Lou Costello: Yeah, he sets all day and points at the icebox! (Editor’s note: we now call an β€œicebox” a β€œrefrigerator”)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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The Cheerio story

So once upon a time, there was a planet shaped like a cheerio. A small moon made of milk or tied the planet, going through the center of the donut shaped world. On this planet, lived an interesting species. They acted and lived similarly to us humans? But looked just like large Cheerios (with footings hands and feet like miis) Within this society there were levels of Cheerios: original, honey nut, and finally frosted. The originals were the backbone of the economy, doing the herd labor while the honey nuts ran the businesses and the frosted Cheerios (the top of the top) led the world. Our story today focuses on a single Cheerio. Born into an original Cheerio family, this lad learned the hard way how to work. From a young age, he was forced to get a job in the local milk refinery, where his dad worked. He grew up, and soon had a family of his own. His wife, son, and daughter all worked hard, but were happy. One day walking home from school, the kids found a runaway honey nut Cheerio pup, and decided to keep him. It wasn’t much, but it inspired our little Cheerio friend here. One day, he got fed up with taking orders, and demanded a raise. His entire family has worked in this one factory for three generations, and he wanted to move up in the world, not just for him but also his kids. His old boss however, did not have the power to promote this Cheerio, and he was forced to make a life changing decision: he would go to the refinery company and use every penny in the family savings account (under the bed) to try and get a higher position. After waiting on line for over a week, his appoint was finally here. After bickering and bargaining for hours, the refinery company boss saw a spark in this lad’s eye. He agreed to give this Cheerio a promotion to the honored honey nut glaze in exchange for everything this man owned, including the family’s prized honey nut dog. Was it worth it? Well pretty soon he owned his own milk refinery and was able to breed his own honey nut dogs, so yes, yes it was. Owning and operating the refinery went smoothly. Milk was transported from the moon to the planet using space busses, and the milk itself was funneled down to the refineries using large straws. After the milk was ready to drink, it was shipped off to be sold. He was happy working here, but eventually he realized it wasn’t enough. This Cheerio, once a simple original Cheerio wanted to follow the β€œAmerican dream” and do the best he could. He wanted to become a frosted Ch

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackcrackaman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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I DadJoked my wife in the car...

We were taking the back roads instead of the highway because the schedule wasn't tight and it was a nice day

We had stopped in a little town and got ice cream as a treat. I was getting a little silly doing voices and accents when we passed a dog kennel business. My wife read the sign:

"Jones' Dog Kennels - Boarding and Breeding"...
She said: "Hmmm... Wonder what they breed"

I piped up in my best hillbilly voice: "Well, that depends on what we're boarding this week."

She spit ice cream all over the windshield and dash.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2014
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My grandad just busted this one out...

Mammoth, do you know what a shitsu is?

A breed of dog?

No, a zoo with no animals.

uuuuuuuurghhhhh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrRagingMammoth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2013
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