Manakin Skywalker
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Nov 29 2018
What starts with an E and ends with an E, but often only has one letter?
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Dec 31 2017
Why don't cows wear flip flops?
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Mar 25 2018
My wife convinced me to have reversed roles during sex last time...
That was a pain in the ass.
π︎ 550
π
︎ Apr 11 2019
βWhat day is today, Adam?β
βFor the last time, itβs Christmas, Eve.β
Edit: Thanks for so much love. Merry Xmas!
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Dec 24 2017
Why couldn't 8 get back up?
When it fell, it was forever
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Mar 08 2018
When doing my son salutation, I call this variation on child's pose, "Downward Dad"
imgur.com/hOpdbkb
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 12 2019
Chicken pox parties are for kids. Adults go to a shingles bar.
π︎ 296
π
︎ Mar 22 2019
Two dyslexics walk into a bra
π︎ 108
π
︎ Apr 24 2019
True story: We weβre driving in the car today when my five year old found an umbrella and opened it...
My wife yelled at him to close it immediately, as it wasnβt safe in a moving vehicle. I told her it wasnβt a big deal since both of our vehicles have umbrella insurance.
The kids didnβt get it but it elicited a nice groan from the wife, so Iβm pretty sure it counts.
π︎ 389
π
︎ Apr 29 2018
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 30 2019
A horse walks into a bar...
The bartender said βHeyβ, then the horse βyou read my mind buddy.β
π︎ 61
π
︎ May 07 2019
Iβm really upset! Someone stole my limbo stick!
I mean how low can you go!?
π︎ 74
π
︎ Feb 02 2019
My wife is mad at the fact that I don't have a sense of direction...
So I packed my stuff and right.
π︎ 149
π
︎ Jan 06 2019
Some people think the cost of wigs is too high
Personally, I think itβs a fair price toupee.
π︎ 75
π
︎ Apr 04 2019
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jun 12 2019
My mate set me up on a blind date and he said, "I'd better warn you, she's expecting a baby."
I felt like such an idiot sitting in the bar wearing just a nappy...
π︎ 159
π
︎ Sep 08 2018
Luckily he wasn't charged
π︎ 61
π
︎ Mar 07 2018
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
π︎ 16
π
︎ May 22 2019
Cheesy Facebook Puns
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jul 27 2018
I thought dinner was at 7, not 6...
I guess that was my missedsteak
π︎ 25
π
︎ Mar 06 2019
What do you call a 3 legged horse?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 02 2019
England doesn't have a kidney bank but it has a Liverpool
π︎ 737
π
︎ Jul 27 2017
How come shrimp on Broadway don't share?
π︎ 41
π
︎ Dec 06 2018
I breezed through my algebra, trigonometry and geometry classes.
But calculus is where I reached my limit.
π︎ 43
π
︎ Oct 15 2018
Some Dadjoke advice for all the lonely hearts out there
Here's what you should do:
Step 1: Buy a sheep
Step 2: name it "Relation"
And now... *drumroll* ... you have a relationsheep
π︎ 25
π
︎ Dec 13 2018
What is the leading cause of dry skin?
π︎ 109
π
︎ Apr 15 2018
You know what the secret is for making fish jerky?
Feed emβ some coffee! -Fraiser
π︎ 13
π
︎ May 01 2019
I bought some Velcro at the store today...
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 27 2019
π︎ 352
π
︎ Dec 16 2015
Why was Dr. Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditioned it.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 20 2019
What did Darth Vader say when his car broke down?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 06 2019
Missed Halloween costume opportunity
π︎ 115
π
︎ Nov 09 2016
Did you hear about the popcorn that got kicked out of the military
π︎ 43
π
︎ Sep 03 2018
My uncle needed a blood transplant and before he died he told us
Nothing. He died in his sleep.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 01 2018
What do you call an Irish dictator?
π︎ 52
π
︎ Oct 07 2017
Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Apr 14 2018
People who visit the Sistine Chapel are literally ceiling fans
π︎ 173
π
︎ Mar 06 2017
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Feb 25 2018
Why is the Ocean blue?
Because all the fish go "bloop, bloop, bloop."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 07 2017
A friend told me, βWell, Iβll give the president credit for one thing - I learned what βcontemporaneousβ means this morningβ
I replied, βwell, itβs about timeβ
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 13 2018
What did mama corn say to baby corn?
Where's popcorn?
I know, it's a corny joke.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 14 2015
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.