Manakin Skywalker
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnPhil
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What starts with an E and ends with an E, but often only has one letter?
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sacca7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Why don't cows wear flip flops?

They lactose.

Edit test.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/derawin07
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife convinced me to have reversed roles during sex last time...

That was a pain in the ass.

πŸ‘︎ 550
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πŸ‘€︎ u/agronero1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œWhat day is today, Adam?”

β€œFor the last time, it’s Christmas, Eve.”

Edit: Thanks for so much love. Merry Xmas!

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2017
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't 8 get back up?

When it fell, it was forever

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mattreyu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2018
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When doing my son salutation, I call this variation on child's pose, "Downward Dad" imgur.com/hOpdbkb
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoBeefy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Chicken pox parties are for kids. Adults go to a shingles bar.
πŸ‘︎ 296
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πŸ‘€︎ u/siphodeus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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Two dyslexics walk into a bra
πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godredd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
True story: We we’re driving in the car today when my five year old found an umbrella and opened it...

My wife yelled at him to close it immediately, as it wasn’t safe in a moving vehicle. I told her it wasn’t a big deal since both of our vehicles have umbrella insurance.

The kids didn’t get it but it elicited a nice groan from the wife, so I’m pretty sure it counts.

πŸ‘︎ 389
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The1hangingchad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A horse walks into a bar...

The bartender said β€œHey”, then the horse β€œyou read my mind buddy.”

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marsharlot
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m really upset! Someone stole my limbo stick!

I mean how low can you go!?

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/retinascan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife is mad at the fact that I don't have a sense of direction...

So I packed my stuff and right.

πŸ‘︎ 149
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Show_My_Rice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Some people think the cost of wigs is too high

Personally, I think it’s a fair price toupee.

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SaltySmasher322
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?

They were Prime mates

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sixfootninja
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My mate set me up on a blind date and he said, "I'd better warn you, she's expecting a baby."

I felt like such an idiot sitting in the bar wearing just a nappy...

πŸ‘︎ 159
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Luckily he wasn't charged
πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pun420
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2018
🚨︎ report
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?

It does Sas-squats.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Cheesy Facebook Puns
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cryssie83
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I thought dinner was at 7, not 6...

I guess that was my missedsteak

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ghstmnky
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a 3 legged horse?

Injured...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PoisonVoid710
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
England doesn't have a kidney bank but it has a Liverpool
πŸ‘︎ 737
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eternalrocket
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
🚨︎ report
How come shrimp on Broadway don't share?

They are show shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I breezed through my algebra, trigonometry and geometry classes.

But calculus is where I reached my limit.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Some Dadjoke advice for all the lonely hearts out there

Here's what you should do:

Step 1: Buy a sheep

Step 2: name it "Relation"

And now... *drumroll* ... you have a relationsheep

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Robsta68
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2018
🚨︎ report
You know what the secret is for making fish jerky?

Feed em’ some coffee! -Fraiser

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENaCl2
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought some Velcro at the store today...

It was a rip off.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spanky2222
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
She had one job and she blew it. imgur.com/key70Cp
πŸ‘︎ 352
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πŸ‘€︎ u/v_cleaner
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2015
🚨︎ report
Why was Dr. Pavlov's hair so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BassWizard420
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Darth Vader say when his car broke down?

The Empire Hikes Back.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jd4realz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Missed Halloween costume opportunity
πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samurinja
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the popcorn that got kicked out of the military

It used to be a kernel

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
🚨︎ report
My uncle needed a blood transplant and before he died he told us

Nothing. He died in his sleep.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/74CK
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Irish dictator?

An O'Ppressor

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2017
🚨︎ report
Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?

Because they're hip.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HXCg4m3r
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2018
🚨︎ report
People who visit the Sistine Chapel are literally ceiling fans
πŸ‘︎ 173
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CallMeFifi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A Roman Catholic

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Infinitecacti
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Why is the Ocean blue?

Because all the fish go "bloop, bloop, bloop."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2017
🚨︎ report
A friend told me, β€˜Well, I’ll give the president credit for one thing - I learned what β€œcontemporaneous” means this morning’

I replied, β€œwell, it’s about time”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MewThree1416
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What did mama corn say to baby corn?

Where's popcorn?

I know, it's a corny joke.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EggrollsForever
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2015
🚨︎ report

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