My teenage daughter came home from school and she was blazing mad. β€œWe had sex education today, dad and you lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!” I put down my newspaper, looked at her and said…

β€œOh, he will, sweetheart, he will.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2018
🚨︎ report
[Meta] Don't half ass a pun, Go in puns blazing (resubmit)
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
🚨︎ report
French Person: "80" French Person: "lol blaze it"
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sirmonkey95
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2015
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/banginbowties
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2016
🚨︎ report
A man's son is preparing to go on a date.

Dad: You going out tonight?

Son: Yeah, just about to change really quick and head out.

Dad:. Hold on, I got something for you!

Son: ...ok...?

Dad: I got some camouflage and blaze orange for you to wear while you're out?

Son: ....?!

Dad: It's for dear hunting!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StuntsMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Obviously, I made love to the french girl twice.

deux!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darksedan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2016
🚨︎ report
What is the worst Airline name and Slogan?

"Icarus Airlines, we'll get you there with blazing speed!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRavenousRabbit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2016
🚨︎ report
I can't believe that yesterday was 4/20.

We're just blazing through the months!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/westy1822
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2017
🚨︎ report
Wife just joked me

My son is watching a video on my wife's phone. It's something about Blaze meeting dinosaurs.

Wife says: they better run away from that T-rex

me:...

W: because it's a car-nivore

me: <eye roll>

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doryenas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2015
🚨︎ report
My teenage daughter came home from school and she was blazing mad. β€œWe had sex education today dad and you lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!” I put down my newspaper, looked at her and said…

β€œOh, he will, sweetheart, he will.”

πŸ‘︎ 209
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report

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