28 Hilarious Blame Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Don’t blame others for the road that you’re on

That’s your own asphalt

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👤︎ u/spwf

📅︎ Dec 30 2020

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Phil is to blame for this one, nothing to do with me.

👍︎ 3k

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👤︎ u/orlanthi

📅︎ Sep 06 2020

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Never blame someone else for the road you are on

It’s your own asphalt.

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👤︎ u/buckeyespud

📅︎ Jan 03 2021

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My Cousin Blames Me For Him Tripping On His Own Driveway.

I don’t understand, it’s his own stupid asphalt.

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👤︎ u/CalmingVisionary

📅︎ Dec 11 2020

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Why does Eve get the blame for eating the apple?

After all, it was Adam's apple!

👍︎ 9

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👤︎ u/billbixbyakahulk

📅︎ Jul 08 2020

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My dad didn’t love me as a child, but I don’t really blame him.

I wasn’t born until he was an adult.

👍︎ 78

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ May 08 2020

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I was shocked to see the Memorial Day pool party videos from the south, but I can't really say I blame them...

Because Missouri loves company.

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/spiky3420

📅︎ May 26 2020

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A bad workman blames his fools...

EDIT: tools

...stupid keyboard...

👍︎ 663

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Jul 16 2019

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There’s only one thing to blame for the cause of earthquakes.

It’s always the Earth’s fault.

👍︎ 29

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👤︎ u/themarajade1

📅︎ Jul 06 2019

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When the librarian bumped her head, she had no one to blame but her shelf

👍︎ 48

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👤︎ u/Teranicia

📅︎ Sep 11 2019

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When a construction worker farts dont blame him it's his asphalt

👍︎ 12

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👤︎ u/Helpinghamburgers

📅︎ Oct 14 2019

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If you lose a scapegoat you have no one to blame but yourself.

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👤︎ u/popoiied

📅︎ Dec 18 2018

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You only have your shelf to blame.

👍︎ 10

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Feb 05 2019

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George Washington is the only president to not blame the previous administration for his problems

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👤︎ u/runs_with_airplanes

📅︎ Nov 06 2018

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Do you know why the computer programmer is to blame for Global Warming?

He didn't follow the Al Gore rhythm

👍︎ 10

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👤︎ u/A_Bridgeburner

📅︎ Mar 13 2016

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My wife blames me for getting verbally abused when she went to an animal rights rally in bobington.

She must have thought I said 'wear the fox hat'

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👤︎ u/eltegs

📅︎ Nov 22 2017

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I partially blame the saturation of TMNT marketing all over my life at the moment....

So, I work as a content writer/developer/coder/whatevs for an educational publisher, specializing in science. This week, I put in a request to one of our artists for an illustration of a centrifuged blood tube. He did one up and sent it back right away, asking if what he did was alright.

My emailed response?

"These look…

(•_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

…tubular.

 YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--"

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👤︎ u/CorvidaeSF

📅︎ Jul 30 2014

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Don't blame it on me

My daughter had just vacated a chair, and my wife was trying to move it with her foot. She turns to me and asks, "Is your leg on the chair?" I said, "No." She asks, "Why can't I move it?" I jokingly replied, "Because you're weak?" And then, inspiration hit: "Don't blame it on me, blame it on mu." She just shook her head while I laughed.

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👤︎ u/nicktish

📅︎ Jun 21 2015

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Don’t blame others for the road you’re on...

That’s your own asphalt

👍︎ 25

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👤︎ u/itiswhatitiskid

📅︎ Jan 04 2021

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Don't blame others for the road you're on.

That's your own asphalt.

👍︎ 124

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Nov 29 2020

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Don’t blame others for the road you’re on.

That’s your own asphalt.

👍︎ 36

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👤︎ u/chicomagnifico

📅︎ Dec 11 2020

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Don't blame others for the road you're on.

It's your own asphalt.

👍︎ 80

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👤︎ u/BamaPaul

📅︎ Dec 18 2020

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You can’t blame anyone for the road you’re on.

It’s your own asphalt.

👍︎ 10

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👤︎ u/decrepit-heart

📅︎ Dec 15 2020

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Don't blame others for the road you're on.

It's your own asphalt.

👍︎ 14

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👤︎ u/fuzzusmaximus

📅︎ Dec 11 2020

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Don't blame others for the road you're on in life.

That's your own Asphalt.

👍︎ 42

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👤︎ u/thirteen_20

📅︎ Nov 22 2020

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Dont blame other for the road you're on.

That's your own asphalt.

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/Nishireko

📅︎ Nov 26 2020

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My dad didn’t love me as a child, but I don’t really blame him.

I wasn’t born until he was an adult.

👍︎ 8k

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Jun 11 2018

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I blame Mother Earth for all earthquakes.

It’s always her fault.

👍︎ 14

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👤︎ u/NoStillReading

📅︎ Mar 11 2019

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