3 Billboards about e-Billing
I once made a belt out of one dollar bills.
I just finished painting a customer’s home and they were surprised with the bill...
Them: “You’ve factored in all the labour, but what about the paint?”
Me: “It’s on the house”
My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied back: “Sure, my door is always open.”
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a "get well soon" card.
Elon Musk and Bill Gates teamed up and created an erectile dysfunction pill.
Growing up, there was a time my parents couldn't pay the electric bill.
It was the darkest day of my life.
What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?
I just spoke with Bill Withers and told him "Ain't No Sunshine" is poor grammar.
He said "I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know..."
Why did the girl break up with a guy who paid for everything with ten dollar bills?
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?
What is the most important part of a Daylight Saving Time bill?
My grandson was taken to the hospital because he swallowed a $5 bill
My son wanted to glue $20 bills to his belt
I told him that would just be a waist of money
Is bill gate a bill-ionaire?
The genie asked, "What’s your first wish?" Steve replied, "I wish I was rich!" The genie nodded and said, "What’s your second wish?"
Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"
I make Christmas wreaths for a living. So I decided I would make one out of 100 dollar bills the other day.
I call it a wreath of Franklin.
A man who had just died was delivered to the mortuary wearing a beautiful black suit.
The mortician asked the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit he’s already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says “I don’t care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.” The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, “whatever this costs I’m very satisfied, you did an excellent job and I’m incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?” To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says “there’s no charge.” Shocked she replies “no really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.” “Honestly ma’am”, the mortician says, “it costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.”
Why can't a bill become law?
Because it's a ducks mouths
My friend ordered a sculpture of his face, but later realized he couldn’t afford the bill.
He really got a head of himself.
A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck. He finishes his drink, and asks for the check.
Opened the electric bill and the Wife can't understand why i'm on the floor laughing.
What do you call a girl who refuses to pay her bills?
Burnadebt
(Just thought of this and I gotta admit...I'm a little bit proud of myself.)
BR EAK ING NE WS....'Bill Gates has agreed to pay for the finishing of Trumps Wall."
(on the condition he gets to install Windows in it)
Why is Bill Clinton playing the Saxophone now trending on YouTube?
It’s because of the Al Gore Rhythm.
Paying bills is hard.
Some would call it taxing.
I was working in our store when my son called me over and said, “Two guys came in and tried to give me some fake fifty dollar bills.” I asked. “What did they look like?” He replied...
I had a priest perform an exorcism for my house, but I never paid the bill....
I found a $20 bill in the parking lot of the grocery store. I asked myself, what would Jesus do?
So I turned it into wine.
I still believe Bill Clinton's Vice President invented the internet
Why else would we use Al-Gore-Rhythms?
I just found out that Bill Nye is just a stage name.
His real name is William New Year’s Eve.
A big bear goes into a bar and slaps down a $20 bill and says to the bartender,"give me a gin and................tonic"
The bartender replies, "Why the big paws?"
I once made a belt out of dollar bills
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill
So I sent him a "get well soon" card
My friend just can't afford to pay his huge water bill...
I've sent him a Get Well Soon card.
My friend said that he couldn't afford to pay his huge water bill....
So, I sent him a 'Get Well Soon' card.
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
I told Bill Withers, “Ain’t No Sunshine is a double negative. That’s bad grammar.”
He said, “I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know...”
My friend in the country couldn’t afford his water bill...
So I sent him a ‘Get Well Soon!’ card.
What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?
What do you call a belt made of $100 bills?
What do you call a Christmas decoration made out off $100 bills?
My friend couldn’t afford to pay his water bill.
I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What do you call a wreath of $100 bills?
What do you call a Christmas wreath made of $100 bills?
What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
What do you call a Christmas decoration made of $100 bills that can play R&B hits?
My self-centered friend ordered a sculpture of his face, but later realized he couldn't afford the bill.
He really got a head of himself.
What do you call a belt made out of $100 bills
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