What begins with the letter W and ends with the letter T
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reeyou
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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How does a salad begin a religious service?

Lettuce pray.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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I begin my new job tomorrow, proofreading for Merriam-Webster, the online dictionary. I asked them if I'd be starting at nine, and they told me to fuck off.

I'll be starting at aardvark, like everybody else.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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I begin to read a horror book in Braille.

Something bad is about to happen I can feel it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snoo25780
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it

Post office

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wizzecian007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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β€œChristopher Wreath” is back on my door and now the holidays can begin!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thegeekofsteel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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December is the month when the kids begin to discuss what to get Dad for Christmas.

Some insist on a shirt.

Others insist on a pair of socks.

The argument always ends in a tie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Name something that begins with the letter P that you aren’t good at?

Spelling. (sic)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectOcoee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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How does the story of Coinderella begin?

One upon a dime...

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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What begins with o and ends w/ s?

The answer is obvious.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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My teacher told me to begin studying things with a pH higher than 7.

She always tells me to start with the basic stuff.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alex13104
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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What begins with an e and ends with an e but only has one letter?

An envelope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gatsler
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog, bends down as if to pet it, then picks it up by the tail and begins spinning it over his head. It created quite the ruckus, so an employee ran over and asked the man if he needed help.

"No thanks, just looking around."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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Waiting for my day to begin
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TazMan65
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2017
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How does a vegan begin grace before meals?

Lettuce pray

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πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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How does an obsession with linkin park begin?

It starts with one thing...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justanothershady
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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A lady accidentally locks herself out of her car and begins to panic.

A passing soldier notices this, walks over and rolls his pants across the car. Magically, the car unlocks. The woman is relieved but puzzled, asking him how he did it.

"That's easy. These are khakis."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/electricalalarm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Let me begin by telling you a little bit about myself..

It's a reflexive pronoun that means 'me'...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tr8orst8x3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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Let the games begin
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CommanderKooKoo6
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
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Danger, Fear, and Panic came knocking at my door. It'd been ten years since the last visit, and all holding clipboards, were ready to begin the inquisition. Nervously, I opened the door and prepared myself to answer their calling.

"Sense us."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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It should've been here to begin with /r/Jokes/comments/f120n4/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChikanWings
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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Two Irishmen rob a grocery store of a pallet of exotic macadamia nuts to sell on the black market. They begin to argue about where to take the pallet when the passenger says "You're driving me nuts!" The driver replies..

YOUR NUTS?!?!?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/valonnyc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What begins with β€œf” and ends in β€œuck”

Wrong, what begins with β€œw” and ends in β€œhat”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nunnster
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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Every October 31st, my dog begins baying loudly a loud, prolonged, mournful cry...

I guess he likes to celebrate Howloween...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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Did you hear that Ireland is going to begin broadcasting their own version of "Southpark"?

It's going to be set in Kilkenny.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bolthead88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2017
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In the forest, a sad lonely looking turtle begins to climb slowly up a huge tree. Half way up, it edges along a branch, sighs, then jumps. It falls smacking into the ground, bouncing and tumbling across the forest floor...

Recovering and bruised, he slowly climbs the tree again, jumps and falls to the ground.

The turtle tries again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watch his pathetic efforts.

Finally, the female bird turns to her mate, β€œDarling, don't you think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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The legacy begins. imgur.com/u925nMO
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emaxxspeed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2013
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A blind guy goes into the closing store, grabs his dog by the tail and begins to spin. A worker shocked by the sight asked "sir may i help you please". The guy smiles and says.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyosk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...

I guess he would have to start from scratch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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A squirrel is sitting on a branch in a pine tree when suddenly he feels the whole tree begin to shake violently.

He looks down and sees that a full-grown elephant is slowly clambering up the tree. When the elephant finally reaches the branch the squirrel asks, "Why on earth did you climb up into this pine tree?!"

The elephant then says, "I came up here to eat some pears, of course."

The squirrel, completely shocked at the elephant's ignorance, exclaims, "You elephants don't know the first thing about trees! This is a PINE tree, there are no pears here."

The elephant then explains, "Oh, I know, I brought my own."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RhapsodicRaven
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
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Two people are having sex in Alabama and they begin to sweat. What is the weather report?

Relative humidity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Car_radio21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
🚨︎ report
In 1935, an American went out on a quest to discover the Loch Ness monsters. He found that according to legend, there were at least 10 in existence. Instead of trying Scotland, he believed the US might have these lake monsters. In which state did he begin his quest?

Tennessee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TITANofATHENS
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What's begins with T, ends with T, and has T in it?

A teapot.

(Edited:) Teapot

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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Ultrasound tech: "So before we begin do you folks have any questions"

Me: "Train A is heading east at 90mph-"

Wife: "Shut up"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GAU8Avenger
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2018
🚨︎ report
The keynote speaker for the medical conference walked up to the stage. "Before I begin," he started, "is there anyone in the audience from Connecticut? " reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lady_Picard
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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A YouTuber who begins to make low effort content to boost a subscriber count then posts to their favorite subreddit:

r/subsyoufellfor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RVBmaniac21
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
🚨︎ report
How do dads begin a knock knock joke?

You start.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Synisive
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
🚨︎ report
An old couple sitting next to my boyfriend and I at Hibachi asked the chef when he'd begin to cook the food. He replied, "When I get around to it." The couple proceeded to hand him this.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/midwesterntown
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2013
🚨︎ report
The Chinese New Year is next week and the year of the dog begins.

I hope it won't be too rough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/avneis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Everyone get a good sleep tonight! Tomorrow we begin a 31 day March!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/terrificturtle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2018
🚨︎ report
When a women reaches a certain age she begins acquiring cats.

This is known as manypaws.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chumbawamba56
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Every kiss begins with "E"
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kotajacob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2017
🚨︎ report
I begin to read a horror novel in Braille. Something bad is about to happen...

I can feel it.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I begin to read a horror novel in braile

Something bad is about to happen I can feel it

πŸ‘︎ 693
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IJustWantMemes789
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
🚨︎ report
How does a vegan begin grace before a meal?

Lettuce pray.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report

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