Which day of the week is for preparing battered food?

Fry-day

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2020
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There's no excuse for battered shrimp
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tableshade12
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2019
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Came home and saw a pile of old battered knives on the kitchen counter.......

Me: Dad what's with all the old knives?

Dad: I'm starting an old knife shop....

I never even got the real answer from him he wouldn't stop laughing

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Trogadoney
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2013
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What a breadful incident! Seriously dough, I hope they get batter soon.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 62
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MayhemMendes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2021
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It’s a sad day but my kitchenaid mixer motor has finally died. I couldn’t whisk for a batter friend.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 52
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Unlucky-External5648
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2020
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My buddy Linux would always lead the lineup with a bunt and steal second shortly after. And no matter how bad I wanted to swing for the fences, if the batter before me didn't make first; coach would turn to me and say......

UBUNTU.

SurPise!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MatthewLee1980
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 04 2021
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A pretty easy mistake to make!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Shallelujah
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2021
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I burned my batter based breakfast this morning...

It tasted waffle.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2020
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Batter batter batter
πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tarlungs110466
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2020
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There was a brawl at a local seafood restaurant.

There were battered fish everywhere.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 28 2021
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sausage bread will always be by your side

for batter or for wurst

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thekuecker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25 2021
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Waffle batter, cake batter, beer batter, fry batter....

Which is wurst?

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/if_Engage
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08 2020
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I almost missed my cake day!

That would have been real crumby.

Edit: thanks for the gifts! I’ve never felt so kneaded.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SufficientNarwhal
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 21 2020
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Obligatory cake day and post

How is cricket like cake? They both need batters!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jedispartan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 28 2021
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What did the British umpire say to the batter?

Europe!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BearDrivingCar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2019
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A man assaulted me with milk, cream and butter !

How dairy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2020
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This prawn couldn't decide whether he wanted to be coated in batter and eaten or not

He was being tempura mental

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 27 2019
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What did the Australian baseball coach say to the batter?

Good eye, mate. Good eye...

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FartyFartyMcFly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 12 2019
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Anybody have good jokes about pancake batter?

I do, but they’re all Waffle.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VividDreamerzzzz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2019
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Did you hear about the lady who stopped a knife fight using cake batter?

She bravely took a whisk.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BrwnLightning
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2019
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Shout out to all the batters in baseball...

..who has three strikes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2019
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A pitcher kept aiming slightly to the side and hitting the batter

no one got their lemonade and the cake was ruined

πŸ‘οΈŽ 81
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/integral-e-to-the-x
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 31 2016
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The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.

I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_kefir
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2020
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Baseball has to be the most nostalgic sport

Cause no matter if they are right or left handed batters, they always hit close to home.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Superplayerfortysix
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2020
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A recipe for a good relationship

My wife and daughter are working on improving the meringue cookie recipe they are using.

I asked if the batter was better and my wife said yes.

So I asked if it had enough sugar or if it was a bitter better batter.

The look on her face was priceless!

I reminded her that she knew my sense of humor before she married me and went through with it anyway.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MikeyRidesABikey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
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Whats the worst crime to occur at a fish market?

Getting battered

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TL4Life
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2020
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There was a fight in the fish and chip shop

The fish got battered

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FriendlyCaterpillar8
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 24 2020
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Did you hear about the fight at the fish and chip shop?

Five fish got battered and a bunch of chips were a-salted.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 105
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hideandsheep
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 23 2020
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Battering ram
πŸ‘οΈŽ 324
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cruxius
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2013
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what did the baker say when he became an umpire?

BATTER UP!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/McCarty_Bedell
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2020
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I find myself craving vegetables dipped in batter and fried in a Japanese style.

I'm feeling tempura-mental.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 64
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tfofurn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10 2015
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Why do robots like pancakes?

Because they are batter-y.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VeryOriginalName98
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2020
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How do you break down the gates to the Cookie Castle?

With a batter-ing ram to do it all at once, or you can chocolate chip away at it for a long time.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hornwalker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2020
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I was trying to make pancake batter…

…but I couldn't find any whisks. I had just recently moved into a new house with my room mate and I wasn't sure what utensils we had between the two of us. I texted her and asked,

"Do we have any whisks here? Or is that just whiskful thinking?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MCLemonyfresh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2016
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Did you hear about the fight at the seafood restaurant last night?

Battered Fish Everywhere!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/beastieboys1987
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 18 2020
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Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?

... he's feeling much batter now.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2020
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Did you hear about the angry pancake?

He just flipped

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2019
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I heard there was a fight in the kitchen and...

a fish was battered!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HarmoniousDroid
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 03 2020
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Out to dinner with my son and husband

My husband is perusing the menu and points out that they have Battered Shrimp on the menu. He turns to me and says, "I wonder if the shrimp pressed charges". My son and I exchanged glances and facepalmed in unison.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lipdoo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2016
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I attended a self-defence course.

At the end of it, the person that ran the course said, "Ok, buddy, so for the week you owe me...Β£380."

"I refuse to pay," I told him.

"You have to," he insisted.

"Well then, you'll have to fight me for it."

So we fought, and he absolutely battered me. Left me bloody, bruised and beaten.

He said, "Β£380. Cough it up."

"No," I told him, wiping my lip. "Because it was clearly a waste of money."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 15 2018
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The neighbour's sheep failed to break into the grain shed.

There was no battering ram.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xXSparklePonyXx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 23 2020
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Did you hear that there was a big fight down at the fish and chips shop

The fish got battered and the chips got assaulted

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AmazingAlasdair
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2020
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Did you hear about the fight outside the chip shop the other day?

Two fish got battered

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2020
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