I can see why he won the No peace Bell Prize
This sausage joke.
It’s the Jehovah’s witnesses working from home
Just in case there’s a salad dressing
She wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.
"Good idea!" I replied. "We can cover more ground that way!"
You become transparent
One has a ding-dong and the other has knockers.
A ding bat.
but it just was a fossil arm
"...why?" My girlfriend asked. "Because it's a-door-able!"
All I heard was groans as she walked out and closed the door.
Address
Edit: Wow! I never thought my first award would be for a dad joke. Thanks anonymous redditor.
Ding! Dong! The witch is wed!
Me: Fine. Have it your way.
Good Tie-dings to all men!
right where it hertz.
Lord Of The Dings
He conditioned it
Eventually we drifted apart.
A Bill-Ding!
....because freedom rings.
Edit: wow this is getting decent attention, Happy Brexit 1776 everyone!
Edit 2: top 50 all time on r/dadjokes and I'm not even a dad yet!
The father he goes, the more he's kid-ding.
She’s got to be kid-ding me.
I told her she is my favorite ding-dong.
who's there?
The electrician to fix your doorbell
She commented, "that's an odd amount." I told her for being a math honors student, I would think she'd recognize that 46 is an even number.
She rated my comment a 6 out of 10 on the Dad joke scale.
They said if I didn't, my house would be repossessed.
This morning, a local radio station had trivia going on, in which the first correct caller would win a free dozen donuts at a local store.
Radio DJ: 20% of Americans have one of these in their home, and despite not working, have no plans of fixing them. First caller, you're up!
Dad: (without hesitation) Hello, I have the answer, I'm ready for the donuts!
Radio DJ: (laughs) What is the answer?
Dad: Teenagers!
Radio DJ: Next caller, you're up!
I told him it rang a bell.
I’m very flattered, but make sure you wish your own dad a happy Father’s Day too.
Dong. Ding Dong
