A mother mountain says to her moody teenage mountain β€œdon’t you give me that altitude!!”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/njo71357
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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What do we want...? Low altitude flyovers!

When do we want them?

NNNNNNEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWW!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
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Lady Gaga was recently hospitalized in Colorado with altitude sickness

"I guess she was too high." - Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Krunkyjunk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2014
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Why did the pilot get sent to his room

Bad altitude

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joe_mama_89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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What did the mother airplane say to the child airplane when the child was acting high and mighty?

"I've had it with your altitude"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/levivilla4
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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[OC] Hats off to this legend

This is a true story, I'm relaying it as I heard it yesterday.

Yesterday I was at the Summit Shop of Pike's Peak (14,100 feet in elevation) in Colorado. As I was standing in line to purchase a few things from their cafe, among them some of their 'famous' donuts I heard a dad and son have the conversation below:

Son: "These Donuts look weird."

Dad: "That's because they're high altitude donuts."

S: "How do you know they're high altitude donuts?"

D: "Because we're at a high altitude."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Inarus06
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
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What do you call a Shaolin rap group?

Ninjas With Altitude

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grandabba
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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Why did the mama rocket send the baby rocket to his room?

She didn't like his attitude

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2017
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Just took a long flight. The pilot was rude and sarcastic the entire time.

He really needed an attitude adjustment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/captainlavender
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2016
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Horse Puns

Funniest horse puns and jokes

A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a whisky. The landlord says: β€œHey, we’ve got a whisky named after you.” The horse replies: β€œWhat, George?”


A horse trudges slowly into a pub and orders a drink. β€œEvenin’” says the barman, β€œwhy the long face?”


A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The doorman says: β€œWait you can’t come in here without a tie.”The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck.He goes back in and says to the barman: β€œThis alright?” The barman says: β€œHmm, ok… but don’t be starting anything.”


A poorly-looking horse limps into a bar with a bandage round his head. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. He downs the lot and says to the barman: β€œI shouldn’t really be drinking this with what I’ve got?” β€œWhy, what have you got?” β€œAbout Β£2 and a carrot.”


Which side of a horse has more hair? The outside What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neighbours


A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. β€œWill I be able to race this horse again?,” he asks The vet replies: β€œOf course you will, and you’ll probably win!”


Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!


A dead horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky.

β€œI’m sorry, sir,” says the barman. β€œWe don’t serve spirits..


A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. β€œExcuse me, good sir,” the horse says, β€œare you hiring?” The manager looks the horse up and down and says, β€œSorry, pal. Why don’t you try the circus?” The horse nickers. β€œWhy would the circus need a bartender?”


Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable.


What did the horse say when it fell? β€œI’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”


Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.


A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible? The horse’s name was Friday.


Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!


What did the horse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!


What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class? Why the long face?


What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bo

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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"How was the flight?"

The plane started losing altitude pretty rapidly at point during the flight. Thankfully, it was in a controlled manner, and only toward the end once we'd reached the airport.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shadowthunder
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2013
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Why did the aeroplane get sent to his room?

He had bad altitude

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πŸ‘€︎ u/argotrevor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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Why did the airplane get sent to his room?

Because of his bad altitude.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/licheese
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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Why was the plane sent back to his room?

Bad altitude

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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