What do old people win for ageing?
Ageing ...
A time-honoured tradition.
What did the ageing rollercoaster say to the ferris wheel?
What’s the oldest age someone could get a circumcision?
I just want to know the cutoff date.
I havent read a book in ages. So i decided to start with a book of how clocks work.
What do you call it when someone bellow the age of 18 has a problem
At the age of 65, my Grandma started walking 5 miles a day.
She's 92 now. We have no idea where she is.
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop boobies around the age of thirteen...
...and boys develop them around the age of forty…
The wife looked concerned when my son showed an interest in electricals at the age of 5.
He asked about the neutral wire.
I said "don't worry, its just a phase."
You shouldn't discriminate against first graders based on their age.
Why is the time period from 476 - 800 ad known as Dark Ages?
Because it was the time of knights.
Whats the difference between girls/women aged 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68 and 78
At 8. You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18. You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28. You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38. She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48. She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58. You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68. If you take her to bed, that will be a story.
At 78. What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you ???
Dad: when I was your age I ran a maratho
Son: you mean marathon.
Dad: no I didn’t finish it.
If Hermes was the messenger god, the he sure was lucky not to have met the god of pain and old age...
What do you call teenagers who pee in their pants at the age of 14?
They found bones of a homisapien who lived before the ice age. Some say he was the first hipster...
since he lived on the earth before it was cool.
If old age is catching up with you ...
Why is dark written with a K not a C?
Because you can't C in the dark
Apparently until the age of 10 ,
Sean Connery's son thought Humpty Dumpty, shat on the wall
What do you call the time period between the Bronze and Iron Ages where humans learned to cure meat?
My son asked if I picked my nose when I was his age.
I told him “no, I was born with it”
What is an appropriate age to tell my highway it's adopted?
I feel like the 66 route is a little late
Ive been reading this book called “The A to Z of Northern Europe”, but it’s taking me ages...
Not sure I’ll ever get to the Finish
Middle age is when you have the choice of two temptations....
.....and you pick the one that will get you home earlier.
Out of all the inventions of the Bronze Age...
The shovel has to be the most groundbreaking of all
What is the worst part about being a letter carrier in the middle ages?
The best anti aging cream is being antisocial...
Without friends, nobody tells you happy birthday...
Without birthdays, you're not getting older!
I don’t mean to brag, but I just put a puzzle together in 1 day...
and the box said 2-4 years!
I like all cheeses, those blue ones, those aged ones, even those sliced ones...
but why does Trump want to make America grate again??????/
What do you call it when you throw a middle aged woman off a building and they come back to you?
What's the Russian word for dry-aged steak?
Women should not have babies after 40.
Like most people my age...
As my impeccably dressed co-worker has aged, incontinence has set in.
He went from dapper Dan to diaper Dan.
It's true whiskey improves with age.
The older I get the more I like it.
What's six inches long, has a bald head and every woman loves?
A hundred dollar bill.
This is my dad's favorite joke.
My son was just born and another dad at the hospital congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday.
He said, "Maybe they'll marry each other?"
"Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age."
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Did you hear that middle-aged people are the happiest?
Yeah, they’re halving the time of their life.
I feel like I've regressed to an earlier age because of all the social distancing.
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but..."
"Look at what kids your age make in China!"
Which kind of Swiss cheese always celebrates its birthday?
When I turned 16, my dad told me it was time to get a job. “When I was your age, my very first job I had I worked with over 500 people under me.”...
“Wow!” I said. “Was it some big corporation?”
“No.” He replied, “I mowed the lawn in the cemetery.”
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys…
Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…
Why was it called the dark ages?
Because of all the knights.
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