Marijuana causes users to become so mellow that they may lose all interest in things that are important. It's a tension deficit disorder.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FreakyStarrbies
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a singer hate when she's horny?

A melody.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sumo-911
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm designing a drug that invigorates you as it mellows you out. I plan to market it

as COFFEE POT.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call really mellow kids?

Chill-dren

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SteveJK11
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2016
🚨︎ report
Listening to smooth jazz always helps me fall asleep.

It a sure way to get my mellow tones in.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tab7240
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the best food to eat when you're feeling anxious in a swamp?

marsh-mellows.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_arab_shrek
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Recently, my penis, which has erectile dysfunction, started singing

I have mellow d

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SauceMaster6464
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
LPT: If you are suffering from insomnia, listen to some smooth jazz right before bedtime.

It has a lot of mellow tonin’.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad is at Disneyland

I like star wars. My dad knows this. My dad had never been a "dad joke" sort of person. He is an accountant by trade and other than being family we have never been very close. My sister jokes about it even. But he is my dad and I love him.

He has been mellowing in recent years now that both kids are out of the house. Oh yeah, and that whole nearly dying during an emergency surgery thing a few years back.

Anyway, tonight he texts me out of nowhere. And hits me with this: http://imgur.com/Qq6S6PA (transcript below)

"How do you know you have a wookie cookie?"

"... I don't know. How?"

"it's Chewwie"

My dad ladies and gents. Has just joined the dad joke Club.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drakythe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2013
🚨︎ report
I don’t want to be swamp stressed.

I want to be marsh mellow.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RichNCrispy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
🚨︎ report
This is a late post, about a month but I'm proud regardless.

It was Valentine's day and some buddies and I went out to grab lunch at a pizza joint called Mellow Mushroom. Appreciative of the waitress working on this day I left her two gems on the receipt to make up for it:

"Morgan, you had me at mellow," and "I have mushroom in my heart for you"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yessayason
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2015
🚨︎ report
My buddy told me the cheese he brought round was philosophical and laid back...

The packet said 'deep & mellow'.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/failure_fiasco
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.