Someone Placed Scatological Humor Above Puns on a Humor Hierarchy Today
I would've complained, but it seemed like more of a fecal matter.
This pun is a Cut above the rest
A guy walks into a bar to find pieces of meat hanging above him…
He asks the barman about it and the barman explains, “If you can jump up and hit one, you’ll get a free drink, but if you miss, you have to buy everyone a round!”
The guy looks up and ponders for a minute then replies, “Nah, the steaks are too high.”
So my daughter is clearing the table and holds her cup above her head and says "Dad look..."
"I'm breathing underwater."
I've never been prouder.
Me: My wife injured herself lifting a brick reservoir above her head three days ago.
Coworker: How is she today?
Me: She's still holding up well.
What is the weather always like above Google's headquarters?
A cut above
Everyone was so excited at the Autopsy club.....
It was open Mike night.
A chemical warehouse was robbed at gunpoint, the assailants cleaned out all stores of substances with pH above 7.
"All your base are belong to us"
"Ho, ho, ho," the jolly bastard mused, unaware I'd been slinking in the shadows for days, ready to unleash my revenge. I'd memorized his patterns, followed his every move, and had set the perfect trap. Down the chimney, ensnared by my noose, and left hanging above the fireplace; I got what I wanted.
I was queuing up to get into the supermarket yesterday. Dwayne Johnson was in front of me. Behind me was a fish holding the trolley above his head!
I was between The Rock and a hard Plaice
I’m opening a butchers shop above a hotel.
It’s a cut above the rest.
There’s an air base in Massachusetts. I’ve flown above it a few times
This joke is Head & Shoulders above the rest.
What do you call a herd of cows above an earthquake?
If, above all, I protect my own ass first, does that make me.. Asgardian?
The mayor of Cowville hosted a citywide celebration of their milk. At the opening ceremony the mayor stood proudly above a pool of milk to show the exceptional quality. Unfortunately as he left the stage he fell into the pool of milk. The townsmen quickly rescued him and asked if he was okay:
"Yes", he said, "I'm all-white".
I live in an apartment building, and my neighbour, Nami, on the floor above me, managed to flood my entire apartment! There are practically tidal waves in my kitchen. She refuses to pay for the cleanup, too.
I don't know if this was the right choice, but I decided to tsunami.
Since vampires are supposedly hurt by holy water, I always wondered why priests don’t just say a prayer over every storm cloud, kill the vampires from above. Then I realized why there are so many vampires from Europe...
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.
When the guy working above you pass the best parts to you.
That's hands down the best.
What do you call two guys above a window?
What do orcs want above anything else?
If you're in a plane above LA...
What happens if you are in a plane above Los Angeles, and when you look out the window there are no clouds beneath you?U C L A
As a child I lived above the local school...
I was always the top of my class.
If you haven't heard of the latest trends, then Dwaine Johnson must be living above you
Wife: I’m thinking about getting my hair cut above my shoulders. Maybe a long bob.
I'd say this liquor is miles above the rest.
At my local hotel right above the pancake machine.
The 7ft tall butcher lifted his fillets above his head.
The steaks have never been higher.
I've got a friend who is really punching above his weight.
His girlfriend's fucking massive.
My son asked why i climbed above the constitution
I said that I wanted to be above the law
My wife always leaves the fan above the stove on.
Every day, I'm the one who ends up getting up and turning it off.
It's exhausting.
When you ejaculate on a woman keep it above the ankles.
You don't want to get off on the wrong foot.
If the bed above mine is removed, does that mean my theory about my brother falling on me in the night is debunked?
Is a nun in heaven called "nun of the above"?
Beef hanging from a butcher's ceiling is a cut above the rest.
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
Above knee. Below bologna.
I live in an apartment where the floor above mine is occupied by Dwayne Johnson
I've been living under a rock
What do you call two thin guys hanging on your wall above a window ...
What do you call two guys hanging above a window?
What do you call two guys above a window?
Dwayne Johnson moved in the place above mine
Now I really do live under a Rock
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