Apparently with everything going on we had no Fawkes to give
His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?
He replies I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years.
His father congratulated him. And then he said “That’s good son, maybe next time you’ll get a talking role!”
My aunt let's her pigs in the field.
Its Mayham!
Dome Dome Dome DOME, Dome Dome Dome DOME...
Me; Left knee, right knee, wee nee
This joke caters to the lowest common denominator.
That's a different story.
Independence day old pizza
It might be stupid, but 5/7 wood post again.
I refused to answer on the grounds that I giggle when I lie.
Because if I don't, my wife is gonna kill me for forgetting two anniversaries in a row.
I replied, "Yes. Read it."
They told me to stop lying.
they have it May’d.
Yeah when you hit it, it's sore E.
I work at an elementary school and a 5th grader has been calling me Mr. Tall since 1st grade. I'm only 6 feet 3. He got me with this one today.
He said as I randomly walked down the hall, "hey Mr. Tall, you must have to use the Toll Free Lane on the highway."
A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink.
"Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something."
"Dad you dont mea-"
"Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son.
"Dad I dont know what to say...I'm honored."
"Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."
