oh nu he didnt
πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iiZatch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter asked: what's on the inside of the nugget?

My wife said: the nu-guts

I'll see us all out now

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joshuaquiz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Finland
πŸ‘︎ 123
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterTHG
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
The Joke that caused my dad to be "randomly selected for a drug test" at work.

To give a little background: My dad was a truck driver at the time, and he never saw something on the side of the road or that had a "free" sign on it that he could drive by without at least taking a look. My brother in law was a sheriff's deputy. He told this joke to my neighbor, I will try to do it justice.

My dad, his dispatcher(DIS), and lady neighbor(LN) are outside talking and it goes something like this:

Dad: Ugh, What a f--king week. I can not believe it.

LN: What happened?

Dad: I was in Georgia and I saw this cooler in the far corner of the rest area, just as you're about to leave. I looked around and I didn't see anyone... So I figured someone had forgotten it on their picnic... It was a nice ass cooler too. Igloo brand with the heavy duty wheels. It was beautiful.

LN: Let me guess, you took it and the food that was in it?

Dad: Oh god I wish, It was a nice cooler. So, I go over and I'm still looking around in case the owners are still there. So I get to the cooler and I'm thinking "jackpot." The outside looks amazing. So, I go to open it up to see if whatever is inside is salvageable or if i needed to throw it out. I open it up and I jumped back and screamed.

LN: What was in it?

Dad: FEET. HUMAN FEET. I'm thinking what the hell did I just stu...

LN: NU-UH, ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!

Dad: YES I'M SERIOUS.. So by this time, I'm seriously freaking out and I have no clue what to do. I nearly passed the f--k out. I had no idea what I should do.

LN: (with her hands over her mouth in horror) OMG, WHAT DID YOU DO?

Dad: Well, you know my son-in-law is a police officer in Florida..

LN: mmhmm

Dad: Well, I didn't know what to do so I called him.

LN: What did he tell you to do?!

Dad: Call a tow truck.

LN: ....what?

Dad: Get it, toe truck?!

LN: YOU'RE SUCH AN ASS. OMG I HATE YOU.

DIS: Oh, look at that, M*****, I just got word from the office that you're up for this month's random drug test.

Edit: Formatting errors, sorry guys!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/heythereanny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2015
🚨︎ report
Looking for a pun

Years ago i c ame across a story thatvwas filled with puns. It was about a punjab boy being jabbed by a pen. Does anybody know where i can find it? I have been gogling it.but nu results. Can you guys help?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Walking with a friend. He says I tan easily, I am part Indian, Eskimo in fact.

I-nu-it

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnShaft
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2016
🚨︎ report
While discussing holiday vacation plans.

GF: "What day is Thanksgiving on this year?"

Me: "Thursday."

GF: http://i.imgur.com/peMjgNU.gifv

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tanmaker
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2015
🚨︎ report
The title of Father for a priest is more literal than i thought...

Priest: Did you know that the 13th letter of the Greek Alphabet is "nu"

Pause

Priest: So next time someone asks you "Whats new?" Just tell them "Its the thirteenth letter of the Greek Alphabet!"

groans and polite laughter

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackOptx
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.