Yellow Green Puns

The phone went 'green! green!', so I pinked it up and said, "Yellow?"

Calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer chameleon.

i've been so blue since you left me.

Telephone

Green Green

#picks up

Yellow?

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

• a carrot

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

• dung

What’s green and smells like red paint?

• green paint

Whats red and bad for your teeth

• a brick

I was diagnosed with colour blindness today,

• I tell you, that came right out of the purple.

Colours making a phone call... Green green, green green....Yellow!

What colour is the wind

• blew

What’s grey and can’t fly

• a car park

I work security at a large lab. We have a safety rating of green/yellow/red that we need to ask incoming workers. This occurred today when my co-worker greeted an incoming employee.

Co-worker: “Hello. What kind of work are you doing today? Green, yellow, or red work?”

Employee: “I’m just going to my office to water my plants.”

Me: “That’s definitely green work.”

Co-worker: “Did you have to?”

Me: “Sorry. That joke was low hanging fruit.”

Co-worker: “Really?”

Me: “Guess I’m stacking them up like cord wood today.”

A little blue man finds a little yellow string and doesnt know what it's for so he goes into his little blue bedroom and asks his little blue wife what it's for. She says she doesnt know and that he should ask the little red man.

So he goes out his little blue bedroom down his little blue stairs, down the little blue hallway, out the little blue door, down the little blue path, out the little blue gate down the little blue path and out the little blue village. Into the little red village, up the little red road, though the little red gate, up the little red path, though the little red door up the little red hallway and into the little red living room and asked the little red man "do you know what this little yellow string is for" and he replied "no clue go ask the little green man"

So he goes out the little red living room, down the little red hallway, out the little red door, down the little red path, out the little red gate down the little red path and out the little red village. Into the little green village, up the little green road, though the little green gate, up the little green path, though the little green door up the little green hallway and into the little green living room and asked the little green man "do you know what this little yellow string is for" and he replied "no clue go ask the little brown man"

So he goes out the little green living room, down the little green hallway, out the little green door, down the little green path, out the little green gate down the little green path and out the little green village. Into the little brown village, up the little brown road, though the little brown gate, up the little brown path, though the little brown door up the little brown hallway and into the little brown living room and asked the little brown man "do you know what this little yellow string is for" and he replied "no clue go ask the little yellow man"

So he goes out the little brown living room, down the little brown hallway, out the little brown door, down the little brown path, out the little brown gate down the little brown path and out the little brown village. Into the little yellow village, up the little yellow road, though the little yellow gate, up the little yellow path, though the little yellow door up the little yellow hallway and into the little yellow living room and asked the little yellow man "do you know what this little yellow string is for" and he replied " yeah when you get home pull it for a suprise"

So he g

“Well see, you take blue energy and yellow energy and mix them together…”

And then my youngest adds in “Yea, yellow and blue make green!”

Eldest was unsatisfied with that answer.

What animal can fly and eats stones? the flying stone eater.

How does an elephant come out of a river? Wet.

How do you stuff a giraffe inside a fridge? You open the fridge door, you put the giraffe inside and you close the fridge door.

How long does it take for a rock from the top of the Eiffel tower to fall to the ground? It doesn't, because the flying stone eater eats it.

What's green and smells like blue paint? Green paint.

What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge.

What's white on the outside, yellow on the inside, and can't climb trees? The fridge with the giraffe inside.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

What's green, 40 feet long and hangs from trees? Elephant snot.

What's wet and has wheels? The elephant from the river, I lied about the wheels.

We were shopping and as we passed through the vegetable aisle he picks up a pack of peppers and starts talking about them. Then this happened:

Dad: do you know how many types of pepper there are?

Me (feeling the dad joke coming on): no dad, how many types of pepper are there?

Dad: well you have green peppers, red peppers, yellow peppers and news peppers.

Actually made me chuckle.

My friend and I were at a race tonight when she asked, "when do they start?" Meaning after a yellow flag. To which I responded, "when they throw the green".

While practicing on my L's: "When you're in a hurry, yellow is just a funny shade of green"

He said "do you know how to make a green banana yellow" I said I don't know he said "spray paint it"

So he applies at a call center, in the interview the interviewer tells him

"We need to test your English so we want you to use, 'green, pink and yellow' in a sentence"

The Indian man replies, "oh that's easy! The phones goes green green green, I pink it up and say yellow yellow!"

I'm not a dad, and not even English, but a friend's dad would make this joke:

Green green, green green...

Yellow?

Brown, brownbrownbrownbrown, brownbrown, brown.

Pink!

But I'm pretty sure there was more colours in it than that. Can somebody help?

Thanks!

Coworker: "I couldn't understand his spreadsheet. When I make mine, I highlight x in grey, and y in green. It's very straightforward and black and white."

me: "If it's got green and yellow on it, how is it black and white?"

Green green, I pink up the phone and I say, Yellow.

Green green.... Yellow?