The alt-text in today's XKCD is pretty great. xkcd.com/2007/
New xkcd. I'm a machine for producing airflow of it xkcd.com/1378/
This old xkcd is a prime example of a great dad joke. xkcd.com/282/
You know how when you find a Genie's lamp, you're supposed to rub it?
Does that mean when you find a Frog's lamp, you Ribbit?
There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
Only a fraction of people know this
I asked 100 women which kind of shampoo they used.
The number one answer was, "How the hell did you get in here?"
My friend looked at me and said, “That’s a nice-ass shirt you are wearing!”
I said, “Thanks, but I think we call them pants, not an ass shirt.”
Mount St. Helens is a great mountain.
But it was at its peak in the 80s.
Stolen and butchered from https://xkcd.com/2308: Title text was “It's a good mountain but it really peaked in the 80s.”
Talking about boobs with my girlfriend
"Who doesn't enjoy boobs?" "They're alright." "No, half of them are left."
GF hit me with this one
Me: Oh look, honey! There's a stray cat. Hello Mr. Cat!
Cat: (ignores)
GF: Wow that was rude. Guess he's used to getting... catcalled.
What is a wind turbines favorite music?
They're big metal fans.
What is the difference between an etymologist and an entomologist?
Only one of them knows
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Elephino
I'm not perfect, but...
I can confidently say that Gnome Ann will never be as good a father as I am.
http://xkcd.com/1704/
When telling one of these jokes, hope they reply with a sigh... xkcd.com/1009/
Jacket xkcd.com/90/
XKCD has a great dad joke
http://xkcd.com/1378/
