The alt-text in today's XKCD is pretty great. xkcd.com/2007/
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elzanna
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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New xkcd. I'm a machine for producing airflow of it xkcd.com/1378/
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rooxo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2014
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xkcd 1378 is a dadjoke

http://xkcd.com/1378/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/searingsky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2014
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This old xkcd is a prime example of a great dad joke. xkcd.com/282/
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ndstumme
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2013
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Planetary ratings are a thing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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You know how when you find a Genie's lamp, you're supposed to rub it?

Does that mean when you find a Frog's lamp, you Ribbit?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Silly--Cybin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator

Only a fraction of people know this

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rob_Haggis
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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They just BUG me
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/glorious_bangla
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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I asked 100 women which kind of shampoo they used.

The number one answer was, "How the hell did you get in here?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/b3perz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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My friend looked at me and said, β€œThat’s a nice-ass shirt you are wearing!”

I said, β€œThanks, but I think we call them pants, not an ass shirt.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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Mount St. Helens is a great mountain.

But it was at its peak in the 80s.

Stolen and butchered from https://xkcd.com/2308: Title text was β€œIt's a good mountain but it really peaked in the 80s.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StochasticTinkr
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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Talking about boobs with my girlfriend

"Who doesn't enjoy boobs?" "They're alright." "No, half of them are left."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Silverhead
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2014
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GF hit me with this one

Me: Oh look, honey! There's a stray cat. Hello Mr. Cat!

Cat: (ignores)

GF: Wow that was rude. Guess he's used to getting... catcalled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/master_nemo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2016
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What is a wind turbines favorite music?

They're big metal fans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/windowlicker1234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2016
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One Night Stand
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XenobiaXD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2014
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What is the difference between an etymologist and an entomologist?

Only one of them knows

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mdogm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2017
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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

Elephino

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Louisiana_Gent
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2016
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I'm not perfect, but...

I can confidently say that Gnome Ann will never be as good a father as I am.

http://xkcd.com/1704/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThisIsCALamity
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2016
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Einstein's Real Contribution
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TroubleNoMore
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2013
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When telling one of these jokes, hope they reply with a sigh... xkcd.com/1009/
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bhayward2000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2013
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kustomer337
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2013
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XKCD has a great dad joke

http://xkcd.com/1378/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moderatorrater
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2014
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