Writing Essay Puns

...or you'll get charged with pla-chair-ism

Her: "I look forward to graduating and having free Sundays"

Me: "I think Friendly's gives you a free sundae if it's your birthday."

Her: "YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!"

Dad: What class are you writing that essay for?

Me: Classical Mythology

Dad: Well you should just put a classic picture on your paper and if your prof asks why just say a picture is worth 1000 words!

(He had definitely planned this one)

Son: "The due date."

I'm thinking Aerial

Because they're dead.

Ruff Drafts

"Oh no, i'm going to end up waffling!"

By writing a RUFF draft

Me and my friends were talking about the amount of schoolwork I'll be involved next semester. One of the courses I am taking is a Spanish class to fulfill a GE so I can graduate next semester. My friend, who's fluent in Spanish, told me it'll be a piece of cake.

Me: Hey, if Spanish is easy for you, do you think you can write my essays for me? (jokingly)

Him: I'll consider it. Depends on how hard the course is and what books you have to read for the class.

Me: Well, for the final paper, do you think you can give me a C, ese?

Him: Yeah, that shou... wait...

He let out a horrible groan while the other immediately got up and left the room while groaning. I'm pretty sure I could've made it a little bit better, but I'm happy with that.

What do you get when you mix picture day with writing a biology essay?

photos-and-thesis

He was writing an essay, and he can only focus well while eating, and he kept eating bananas. When he finished his third one, I told him he was nuts. Then he told me "Actually, I'm bananas."

As a kid I loved to get the sunday comics from the paper and read Calvin and Hobbes. I loved it so much my parents would get me the compilation books as gifts for birthdays and christmas. I always thought it was funny when Calvin would ask his dad how "x" works. One day my son when he was about 6 years old asked my why some TV shows were in black and white. Inspired by this calvin and hobbes comic where Calvin's dad explains why photos are black and white. http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/ch/1993/ch930919.gif

I decided to do the same thing to my kid. I told him that the world was black and white back then and that things didn't start to become in color for decades later. I got a good chuckle out of it, but because he was so young, I didn't realize that he actually believed it. I soon forgot that I told him the world was black and white. When he was about 11 or 12, one day I got a call from my wife and she asked me, "Did you tell your son that the world used to be black and white?" I start laughing immediately and said yes! How did you know? She said because your son is writing an essay about how the world used to be black and white for school and he asked me what year the world became color. He believed that for like 6 years!

My sister is writing an essay about objectification in pornography, supporting the actresses because they chose their career, and she needs a witty title. Any ideas?

Ninja Edit: Best we could come up with was "Porn This Way."

I was telling my dad about my JAWS essay that is due in a couple of days and this is the conversation that followed.

Me: I'm writing out my JAWS essay.

Dad: Ok sounds a bit fishy.

Me:That's a terrible joke.

Dad: Hook line and sinker

ME: Stahp. I can't handle the dad jokes anymore.

Dad: Holy mackerel he's growing up

Me: You seriously can't make anymore up.

Dad: I'm having a whale of a time.

Me: Really?

Dad: Yes

Back when I was younger I needed to write an essay.

Me: Dad what is the computer password?

Dad: The password is in my control

Me: Okay cool but I need to write an essay

Dad: I told you it is my control

Me: Can you just come here and type it in then?

This went on for a few weeks until I watched him type in m-y-c-o-n-t-r-o-l

The password is still the same to this day.

"so how are your classes going?"

"well, for my Political Science class, I'm writing an essay analyzing genocides"

"....well, are you for it or against it?"

So I'm trying to write an essay about the Roman Republic becoming the Roman Empire, thought it'd be funny to start off with a pun but I can't think of anything so... help?

We were talking about how I had to write an essay at school today.

Mom: What was the essay on?

Me: Paper.

Whenever I have a lot of school work to do in a short period of time, I like to get a bag of candy to munch on while I work. Today I have a big essay to write, and since my mom was already out I decided to ask her to pick some up for me.

Me: Can you pick up airheads for cramming purposes?

Mom: Wouldn't smarties work better? ;P