A lunatic.
We believe they're holy frijoles!
By praising cheeses.
Cheeses.
Pretzelcoatl
Mosque-itos.
He's a catholic converter
Ramen
(Joke derived from u/praetorsolaris)
Is nothing sacred?
We are now a heavy metal church.
We will be introducing Black Sabbath to our worship set soon.
Just for hell of it.
Then I thought, "stop judging yourself, you bastard!"
I am afraid he'll worship Seitan!
Keanu Sleeves
Yβallah
Sacreligious
An ayyye theist.
But it was diffi CULT
I was gathering the leaves from my huge pile of leaves and placing them in a garbage bag inside of a garbage can. To squeeze them down, I lifted my foot up and stomped on the leaves. One of my buddies who's like 13 says to me from the other side of the fence "All you can do is hurt leaves." I stare back at him and say "so the others know they better leave me alone."
Because they are in sects
He's 0K now
Because worshipping pallets!
"That's alright, I wore shinguards today."
"...why?"
"Just for kicks!"
All I got for my wit was a deadpan look and a slow head shake.
Someone who worships Santa.
They worship the cross product.
No eye deer.
What do you call a blind deer with no legs?
Still no eye deer.
What do you call a blind deer with no legs & no genitalia?
Still no f*cking eye deer!
What do you call a blind deer with no legs & no genitalia that's been worshipping the devil?
Still no f*cking goddamned eye deer!
I was taking my daughter and her friend to get a snack and they started talking about starting a new religion where everyone worshipped food.
I said, "If a part of your congrgation breaks away to only worship the sweet foods, would you call them desserters?"
My wife and I are co worship leaders at our church and she was singing a new song today. She said that it was hard because it was too low, to which I responded "You can't sing the solo because it's so low?"
She flashed me a dirty look and ignored me while she practice a few more times.
I lead the worship team at church and I'm the only one with a key to the instrument room. I went to get the key and when I came back, my keyboardist was banging his head on the door over and over.
I said, "were you just gonna try breaking it down like that? I do have a key."
He replied, "well, I thought I was making good headway."
He may have a head injury. Also, he's in his fifties.
His post, which I took at face value until the DJ:
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas but there are more Catholic churches than casinos.
Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings.
The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.
This is done by the chip monks.
(got this from my dad, in a chain email no less.)
Do Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips?
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas , but there are more Catholic churches than casinos.
Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings.
The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.
This is done by the chip monks!
