What did the Progressive ad say about the winter weather?

That's Snow Joke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2piix
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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With all the winter weather on its way, the road is really salty...

I guess it's gotten sick of people walking all over it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/luigi6745
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2016
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Winter weather Facebook post

Daughter - Thank you to the kind person who helped push me up the hill... I hate snow

Dad - Don't your legs work?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/athimm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2014
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the puppy test

Before you let your kids get a puppy, take the Puppy Test.

Best taken in the autumn or mid winter.

  1. Buy a lead and tie it to a big stone, walk around dragging the stone behind you.
  2. Get up at 5am, go out in the pouring rain and walk up and down a muddy path, repeating good girl/boy, wee wees...poo poos, quickly please
  3. Stuff your pockets with plastic bags and pick up all the poo you can find, obviously not your dogs as you have not bought it yet ??
  4. Start wearing your shoes indoors, especially during muddy times
  5. Collect leaves off the ground and spread them on the floor
  6. Carry sticks and branches indoors and chop them up on your carpet
  7. Pour cold apple juice on the rug and floor....walk barefooted over it in the dark
  8. Drop some chocolate pudding on your carpet in the morning and then try to clean it in the evening
  9. Wear socks to which you have made holes using a blender
  10. Jump out of your favorite chair just before the movie ends and run to open the back door
  11. Cover all your best clothes with dog hair, dark clothes with blond hairs and light clothes with dark hairs
  12. Tip all just ironed clothes on the floor
  13. Make little pin holes in all your furniture, especially chair and table legs
  14. When doing dishes, splash water all over the place and don't wipe it.
  15. Spread toilet paper all over the house when you leave the house and tidy up when you get back home
  16. Forget any impulse holidays and/or breaks
  17. Always go straight home after work or school
  18. Go for walks no matter what the weather, and inspect every dirty paper, chewing gum and dead fly you might find
  19. Stand at your back door at five in the morning shouting, "Bring Mr Bumble and Mr Lion in, its raining.”
  20. Wake up at 3am. Place a correct size bag of flour on top of yourself and try to sleep, whilst wiping your face with a dishcloth, which you have left next to your bed in a bowl last week.
    Repeat everyday over 6 months and if you still think getting a puppy sounds like a good idea, Congratulations, you might be ready for your kids to get your puppy.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/specklesinc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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dadjoked my mom, didn't realize what i said till she started laughing

me: why have we been eating casserole so much recently?

mom: because it's winter! and winter is casserole weather!

me: I thought it was chili weather...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rustedcrown
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2014
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I live in the south and every winter I invest a few dollars into bread companies

It’s my best bet at making dough during the winter weather

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Da_Braz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
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What state am I in?

My sister lives in Georgia, which is currently having some uncharacteristic winter weather. She sent me and my parents a picture of the snow on the ground, asking "What state am I living in!?". My dad responded with "considering the white stuff on the ground, I'd say a state of confusion"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/10thLevelNeerBerd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2014
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