Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
One of my friends was really in to fencing until his weapon broke
Apparently now it’s dull and pointless
why do poets never keep there weapons still?
They want to be like shake spear
What do you call a weapon that doesn't kill animals?
What kind of weapons do fleas use?
If you haven’t shot a weapon with your eyes closed
You don’t know what you’re missing.
Which weapon does the Grim Reaper use in the winter?
Once upon a time a broken sword told me it was the best weapon in the world...
My wife beamed at me and said, “I had no idea our son would go that far!” Tearing up, I stammered, “I know!"
"The trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter!"
Lethal Weapon 3(-some)
Film Producer: “This is supposed to be a “Buddy Cop” movie, why do they have this steamy sex scene together?”
Director: “Because everyone enjoys cop-porn at the movies!”
What kind of weapon does a paramedic use?
I always buy my weapons from a guy called T-Rex.
A pencil isn't John Wick's primary murder weapon.
But it's definitely number 2.
What do you call a serrated weapon that Polish people once used in battle?
My 5 year old came up with this one. What is a skeleton's favorite weapon?
A bone and arrow (Kid loves to play minecraft sooo... yeah)
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
I clean all my weapons with tree sap.
Some say I’m crazy, but I’m sticking to my guns.
What weapon do angels use?
If you hit a math textbook with a calculator...
...would the calculator be considered a weapon of math destruction?
What is a rain's favorite weapon?
A salt with a deadly weapon!
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
What type of weapons would a T-rex sell?
I toured the USS Missouri today…
In the ship I saw the Master at Arms’ office and weapon storage was right near the ship’s bakery. It struck me as odd, until I realized that the Navy followed the same principles as the Army having the US gold in Fort Knox, surrounded by an armored force.
You have to be able to guard the dough.
What weapon is the most relaxed?
Just “chill axe”, my dude.
Weaponized clothing...
should be called garmaments...
Did you hear ISIS is adapting Covid-19 into a bio-weapon?!
They're calling it the Quranavirus
In addition to Taiwan, the US has also sold torpedoes to Vietnam. Rather than pay money, they traded with a huge bulk of food. The weapons are now called ...
Pho Ton Torpedoes.
(A consequence of reading a front page post about the sale to Taiwan while watching ST:TNG.)
My fart just wiped out half of new York.
It was a weapon of ass destruction
Have you heard of this terrorist group using wooden weapons?
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection.
Of course she denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.
there's weapons
What is it called when someone cuts your weapon wielding limb off?
Disarmament
What was the best weapon during the Cold war?
Where do toy stores keep their Terminator action figures?
A detective was investigating a murder. He soon found that the murder weapon was the bag of the murderer and it had their name on it.
My 4 year old just told her first dad joke, and I've never been more proud.
My pregnant wife is wearing a white shirt that has a pumpkin painted over her belly, for Halloween. We are having another little girl, and have set on the name Ellie.
My daughter comes home, and is greeted by my wife.
4yo: "I like your shirt mama!
Wife: "Aww thank you! Do you like my pumpkin belly?
4yo: "...I like your pumpkin Ellie!"
Which is the most musical weapon?
Swords, because they go “Sing! Sing! Sing!”
Weapon of brass destruction
Do you know why the French eat just one egg for breakfast?
Because in France, one egg is Un ouef.
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was.
I am suspicious that my wife is secretly adding glue to my weapons collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
I think my wife is secretly putting glue on my antique weapon collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
Within minutes, the detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was.
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
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