It's syncing right now.
Because it was 2 squared
“What is your will, Pharaoh?”
It was a heartworming story
Raiders of the Lost Harp
When it enzyme going to be very grateful.
I thought he would've wanted some pop corn with the movie.
A heroine addict
It's very hobbit forming.
She was watching our wedding video again.
It's called 'Knitwear On Elm Street.'
It was a bond movie
I was really disappointed when I found out it wasn't a William Shatner biopic.
What's the biggest difference between men and women?What they mean when saying "I got through a whole box of tissues watching that film"
I'm not feeling it.
Luckily for me I was the one facing the telly
When it enzyme going to sleep.
He said, "But son, it's the same film if you watch it here."
Him: Stallone?
Me: No finished around 8
http://i.imgur.com/J7AZJzu.png
This is an original "shaggy dog story" style Dad joke that I wrote recently. Enjoy. :)
The whale watching witch
Remember the story of the wicked witch from Hansel & Gretel? Reports of her death were greatly exaggerated. What actually happened is simply that she retired from being a wicked witch. Instead she decided to become a good witch and travel around the globe by boat. Being a witch, she wasn't very conventional, so she went on eBay and bought herself an ex-navy submarine to use for travelling the world.
One day she decided to go whale watching. Our repentant witch cruised into whale watching territory in the comfort of her refurbished submarine. She neatly surfaced, and manoeuvred her sub into a position alongside several boats that were offering whale watching cruises to rich tourists. Armed with her favourite binoculars, she stood on the conning tower, hoping to get a good view of the action. She soon found herself admiring some giant whales frolicking together in the ocean.
Suddenly, one of the whales headed right for her submarine. Instantly, our friend the witch realized that the whale thought that her vessel would make a good dinner, and was about to swallow it whole. At the last moment, she leapt overboard, just managing to escape, as the mouth of the whale closed over her submarine, swallowing it in one giant gulp.
Meanwhile, one of the tourists on a nearby whale watching cruise had been filming everything. "You'll never believe what I saw!" he cried, "But I got it all on video, and I'm pretty sure it will go viral. I just saw a whale eating a sub sans witch!"
It was called "Closed for the Winter".
Because they only watch arrrrrr rated films. (courtesy of my 14 year old)
I said "No, just for the night."
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
My four year old was watching a Disney movie while I was in the kitchen. The app we use for Disney on the tv is horribly unreliable (Disney life on amazon firestick), randomly freezing or restarting whatever we're watching.
Anyway, I'm scoffing a cake I don't want her to have when I hear a shout.
"Daddy, the film is frozen."
I go through, look at the TV and tell her "No it's not, that's Moana."
I think it's the first time she's both gotten one of my jokes and appreciated how crap it is. Her eye roll and "ugh" brought a tear to my eye.
Person A: Have you watched the latest tomato films? Person B: No. I gotta ketchup.
Me and my dad: Watched a monkey documentary My Dad: Look they filmed you!
My daughter comes running through to me after watching a film where a young girl dies at the start,
Daughter : What would you do if I was to drop down dead in front of you.
Me: Clean the knife.
A director and a costume designer had a disagreement over a critical shot in the horror movie they were filming in their studio.
The director planned to use CGl for a brief but critical reveal-shot of the movie's monster. But the costume designer insisted they use an actual costume instead of CGl.
"CGl makes a movie look cheap these days," she proclaimed.
The two of them continued debating until they began arguing. The stage crew, actors on break, and other people around them began watching until both the costume designer and director were shouting over each other at the top of their lungs. Despite their efforts, nobody could calm them down.
Fearing the incident may lead to blows, one of cameramen called a studio security guard in urgent request. The guard arrived a minute later and made a beeline for the director and costume designer, who were being held back by multiple people on set.
"lt's my movie. l make the decisions!" the director hollered, hoarse and red in the eyes.
"The movie quality will suffer!" the costume designer screamed, hair plastered across her sweaty face.
The security guard stepped in-between them and raised his pistol at the ceiling without a word. They continued to argue around him. There was a bark of gunshot, then nothing but silence and some falling plaster.
"Now see here," the guard said loudly, stepping back to look at the two of them. "Either you two quit your bickering or l'll have to escort you off the premises. You're making a scene."
What’s a penguins favourite film? Frozen.
What did the penguin say to the snowman who didn’t find the first joke funny? Oh laugh!
What did the snowman kick the penguin with in retaliation? Dis knee
Why did the snowman then watch Frozen with the penguin? Nothing Elsa on TV
There’s snow more now, ice said them all.
Brother: "Watch this film, it's very moving!" Dad: "Most films are moving, otherwise it'd be a picture"
So we were picking something from the TV guide after we'd finished watching a film and say to my dad, cause there was nothing good to put on, "Well? Well? WELL?" And the bastard replies, "A large hole, with water at the bottom." I tried so hard not to laugh, but he got me and it was pretty funny, unfortunately.
We were watching a film in which nuns wore that full on nun outfit, I argued that almost no nuns wear all of that and is over represented in the movies.
He said to me "I think they probably still wear it all, it's hard to give up an old habit".
Dad: what movie should i order tonight
Mum: well i want to watch the pianist
Dad: that sounds boring
Mum: it won best film at the Cannes film festival
Dad: yeah well how did it go at the bottles film festival?
Harry Osborne: "It's been 10 years. What have you been up to?"
Peter Parker: "I do some web design"
Made me laugh quite a bit. Can't remember if it was in the film or not, but here it is in the trailer.
Know what you call someone who can’t stop watching films with a strong female lead? Heroine addict.
