I think space exploration is a waste of time.

There are many better things to do for leisure than stare at a computer keyboard all day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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Most people told me learning sign language was a waste of time

But I find it to be a pretty handy skill

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ham-cum-rewritten
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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well reading this wasn't such a waste of time
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sssuuurrreeee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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So I can legit ride a unicycle. My mom told me it was a waste of time and would never get me anywhere in life....

I said β€œno mom! Where there’s a wheel, there’s a way!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/serion15
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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While reading an essay, I decided halfway through that reading the whole thing is a waste of time.

I think I might be jumping to a conclusion.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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My son told me he thought school was a waste of time...

I told him that, no, a waist of time is a watch on your belt.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDankHoo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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Cool license plate clock or a waste of time?
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
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Back in the days I started to read the classics, but my friend thought it was just waste of time.

Well after 1984 I didn’t have much energy for The Idiot anyways.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
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I found the jump rope lesson to be a waste of my time

So I skipped out on it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meebwix
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
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Trying to get milk from a male cow would be an UDDER waste of time.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flynn_The_Fox
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2017
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Talking is such a waste of time. You know we could communicate telepathically...

...if we put our minds to it

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TypicalTyrian
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2016
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The other dads in my Zoom meeting today may have been a bit jealous. I mentioned how my adolescent daughter has been so generous and nice during quarantine while I use the family computer for work, instead of her wasting time all day, watching YouTube. I have to say,

I'm glad to have the no-vid kind teen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxUsernameMichael
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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Gabe had a heavy load this semester

Math, physics, comp sci. The only easy class was "The American Century." Open book midterm and final, so he wasn't going to do any of the reading all semester.

β€œIt’s a huge waste of time, Dad,” he laughed when I objected. β€œI’m not learning a damn thing in the class.”

β€œWell, then you’re just going to have to take that class over again,” I snapped at him.

β€œWhat are you talking about?” he yelped.

β€œYou know why, Gabe,” I said. β€œThose who don’t learn from history are condemned to repeat it.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cja1968
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Obituary for the Pillsbury Dough Boy, Pop N Fresh

The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.

The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eyes_and_teeth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Passing the time in quarantine teaching the cat to dance...

Waste of time turns out hes got two left feet.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blacky-o-hare
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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I hate when people throw away clocks.

It’s a waste of time.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jolernaught
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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Need stupid/funny potato puns.

I know this might not be the place to post a question but I was wondering if any of you punny peeps can help me out? I got some free stamps and I want to mail a few potatoes out to my relatives. I know this is pretty stupid and a waste of time but I'm laughing at myself just thinking what their reactions and responses will be when they check their mailbox and see a potato. I want to write a potato pun somewhere on the potato. So of you're willing to help me do this; please leave me your potato puns for me to read and decide which ones I'll be using. Thank you for reading.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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Don't mess with General Relativity...

It's a waste of time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/warpedddd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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I recently made a belt out of watches

It was a waste of time...

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriptoN-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
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I don't understand why people would strap watches on their belts.

It's a waste of time.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperCarbideBros
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
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I don't get the importance of clock landfills

It's just a waste of time

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Congressperson
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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My dad went to the doctor because he was constipated

And in the waiting room he found a chart with the qualities of a "good poop". It said that one of the main qualities In the best poops are that they sink. They don't float. So he comes home and shows us a copy of the chart.

Literally like 10 mins later my little sister comes out of the bathroom screaming that she had a great poop because it sank "just like the titanic".

My dad wastes no time and run into the bathroom to check on the toilet and looks at me with a face of satisfaction that told me he was gonna do it. Then he said it:

"That's some good shit right there".

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordOscarFedz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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I took all the watches in my house the other day and made them into a belt

To be honest though, it was just a waste of time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theo_waugh_2746
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
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Me and my dad walked into a clock repair store today smelt something funny asked my dad what that smell was.

"Smells like a waste of time"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whyhi2001
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
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Had a great one at work that nobody will know about

Alright so quick synopsis of what I do for a living is treating industrial waste water for oil fields. Part of our process is removing solids from the water and using a hydraulic press to squeeze the water out of it and dispose of the dry cakes. Once a day, a waste company rolls in large trucks to remove the big bins where we store the cakes, and put in fresh ones.

Today I was talking with the driver of the truck as he replaced my last bin. I wished him well on the road since we live in California and lordy knows nobody understands how to drive in the rain. As I was turning away from him I said

"If you'll excuse me, I have more pressing matters to attend to."

And immediately started up the steps to our press building, laughing the entire time.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SSV_Kearsarge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2017
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Weight watchers

Dad: to celebrate my joining weight watchers with you, let’s go get a dozen donuts each Mom: that’s crazy! Do you know how many points are in a dozen donuts Dad: just go on line and check Mom: ridiculous! A waste of time! It’s pointless Dad: touchΓ©! Let’s go

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garlaham
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
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A horse walks into a bar...

So a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks if he wants a beer. The horse goes "neigh." So the bartender kicks him out for wasting space, and on top of it, horsing around. 30 minutes later, a donkey comes in, orders the most expensive drink and a round for the house. When it comes time to pay the tab, the donkey says, "oh, by the way, you kicked out my husband, a horse, earlier," then walks out without paying. The bartender was upset, but knew he'd serve the occasional horse's ass.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blue8844
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2017
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You wouldn't believe what I saw on my way home from work last night.

Okay so I get off at 4:00 and I didn't waste any time leaving the office. Shut down my computer, grabbed my keys, and I was on the road by 4:05. It had been a pretty crazy day and I was ready to get home.

As I'm driving home I notice I'm running on Empty. I probably could have made it home but I was really craving a Coca Cola so I decide to stop at the nearest gas station.

Anyways I'm filling my tank I see an old lady a few gas pumps away putting gas in her old beat up station wagon but didn't really think anything of it and just continued to enjoy my icey cold Coca Cola.

Next thing I know I see this old lady holding the gas pump nozzle spewing gas everywhere. I guess she had taken the nozzle out of the vehicle w out disengaging the automatic trigger or whatever but it went EVERYWHERE. Her car, her arms, the ground, all over the place and by the time she got that thing to stop spraying there was at least a gallon of gas everywhere.

So I immediately run over to see if she's okay and she smells like straight up gas. I gave her napkins to dry off her hands and to clean what gas was spilled on the car. She said she was okay and thanked me for my help so I leave and head home.

So now I'm a few blocks from home, driving over the last hill right before my next turn and all of a sudden, almost out of nowhere, she comes flyin past me in that same old beat up station wagon with, I shit you not, her arm CAUGHT ON FIRE. And as if that's not bad enough there are two cops right behind her in hot pursuit. So while I'm freaking out trying to pull over to the side she zooms past so fast I barely catch a glimpse of her frantically flailing her arm out the window as they all go over the hill.

At that point couldn't believe what I was seeing it was just too crazy. So I quickly get back on the road and make my way over the hill and I spot her. She's pulled over in the emergency lane. I see the same old lady being handcuffed and put in the back of the squad car.

Yeah turns out she was arrested for waiving a fire arm in public.

Β―_(ツ)_/Β―

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2015
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I turned an English paper into one giant pun.

A Call to Arms A Plead to the Limbless

The Armless are a stump among society and could easily achieve more. It’s bothersome that somebody with great potential could allow themselves to lose grip of what they aspire for. The radius of support and development that surrounds these people is astounding. Yet they bite the hand that feeds and throw away opportunities. With each passing day they are crippled by the errors in their ways. Not only are they not properly handling the situation, they are doing a disservice to society. Most will say to refrain from pointing fingers, but it is pertinent that we show them their faults.
All aside we should most certainly not try to elbow my way into their lives. However, if they were to branch off into their own progressive groups it would be most beneficial. And severance is a good thing between them and the public. This doesn't mean a complete amputation of them from society. Perhaps selective assistance will help these people find a well fitted sleeve within their communities. This process is difficult and lending a helping hand can make the difference. On the other hand, we have those who don’t try to succeed. Their negligence is worthy of more than a mere slap on the wrist. When somebody refuses to apply themselves, they are holding back progress. By giving themselves mental limitation they are creating a prosthetic disability they must abide by. The majority of working to achieve goals is believing you can reach out and grab them. But, somebody who gives up is cutting themselves short of success Seeing somebody give up is the furthest thing from being humerus. Urging these people is a necessity, otherwise they will never try their hardest, encourage them to use some elbow grease and put forth full effort. Any small contribution is better than being a detriment, community service, obtaining greater education, enlisting in the armed forces, these all benefit society. Drastic changes of this scale are sure to cause discontent, grab a tissue if need be, but never give up. For all those that are currently wasting away without contribution, it's time to limb’er up and take charge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chewy_64
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2015
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*Driving past a field of wind turbines*

Dad: Gosh, how wasteful! Who even needs all of these fans out here in the middle of nowhere?!

Gets me every time.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/malpal1234
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
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Accidental poop dad joke with boys

I am a single father of two boys that are 8 and 10. These conversations happen way to regularly around the dinner table.

My Oldest: "Dad I think pooping is a waste of time" Me: "Yea, a solid waste of time"

I didn't realize the pun until a few moments after I had said it.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AllogicReaction
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2015
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Garbage day tomorrow

Time to set the garbage cans to the curb, and, of course it's cold and very windy. This is the best dadjoke I could come up with, and my daughter bested me at my own game.

Me: "It's so windy, I "refuse" to take out the garbage."

She: "That's just trashy. What a waste!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anyeyeball
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2017
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Dad joked my boss today

Going through a bunch of crap in the storage room.

Her: Huh, I guess we can get rid of this clock.

Me: What a waste of time.

Eyes were rolled after that one.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/linksrd009
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2014
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A timely joke by my boss

Our receptionist collected the mail, and I overheard the following conversation.

Receptionist: Here's a catalog about clocks.. does anyone want to read it?

Boss: What? That'd be such a waste of time.

Boss then proceeded to smile as I bust out laughing in the other room.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/walkingcarpet23
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2014
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My roommate hates me sometimes

My roommate isn't a fan of reading. "It's a waste of time," according to him, so he prefers movies. After finishing a movie today he told me it happened to be based on real events, saying he might have to look it up. The following was our IM.

Me: Neat, that sounds like a good read, yeah?

Roomie (b/c the movie had a sex scene): But words don't have tits, so there's one problem, lol

Me: Lord. Maybe you should try reading some smut sometime. It's puts on sunglasses titillating! Yyyyeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

Roomie: Guh. Awful

I think I owe him a pint, now.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MidtermMassacre
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2016
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I used to be an alcoholic...

A lot of time wasted.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2016
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Patience is a virtue

I live in a different city and told my mom I bought my chocaholic stepdad some nice chocolates, that he'd get probably in a few days. Through text messages:

Stepdad: Sure could go for some chocolate. Me: Patience is a virtue. Stepdad: and a waste of time.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MissSunny
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2014
🚨︎ report
He dragged me out of the apartment for that pun.

Not a dad, but this is in line with it all.
It was a party around Halloween-time, but not specifically a Halloween party. Things were wrapping up, people were heading out and my roommates were saying goodbye.

They were doing some goofy ass handshake, bumping fists, slapping, all that dumb shit.

While they're wasting time, I look on the table and see various Halloween decorations, including body parts made out of Jell-O. They're slightly jiggling, as all Jell-O molds seem to do.

I quietly mumble "Hehe... handshake."

The host of the party looks at me and says "Are you making fun of our hand shake?"

Without saying anything else, I reach over to the table, pick up the plate the Jell-O zombie hand is on, hold it close to his face, wiggle it back and forth and repeat "Hand shake".

He grabs me by the back of my shirt and drags me out of the apartment. I thought it was funny.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M3wThr33
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2013
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A waist of of thyme is a waste of thyme and a waste of time.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/random_feedback
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
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If I attached a watch to my belt....

It would be a waste of time.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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Why should you never attach a watch to your belt?

...because it would be a waste of time

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jRadu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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Watch on Belt

I was going to put my watch on my belt.

But I realised it was a waste of time.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryannbajaj
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
🚨︎ report
So my friend just told me about a watch you can attach to your belt.

Nah, just a waste of time.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AManInATopHat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report

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