Dad can I wash the car with you ?
I dunno son, I prefer you use a sponge
I just had a new wash basin delivered to our house for our guest bathroom, but my wife decided that she hates the design so much she won't even let me bring it in off the porch. It has been sitting by our front door for a week, A ENTIRE WEEK.
There was a knock at the door this morning. I opened it and there was a wash basin on the doorstep.
I thought, "I'd better let this sink in."
I accidentally left some money in my jeans as they went through the wash.
I just worry because I know it’s illegal to launder money.
I accidentally left some AA batteries in my pocket when I put them in the wash
That's what I call clean energy
A sales guy tried to sell me on a new preparation to wash my hair with, which supposedly contains the excrements of some very special rainforest animal or whatever.
I cook my food by myself, wash my dishes by myself, and tidy my house myself.
One can say that I am 'self-maid'
I don't use shampoo when I wash my hair.
I'm a man - I use real poo.
Just going to have to wash my hands off this one!
I don’t wash my ass
Because I don’t let shit bother me
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
I usually sing with a deep voice. But when I wash my hands,
If you ever have to cancel plans with friends your excuse should be that you have to wash your hair in a lukewarm shower with high quality dandruff shampoo.
At least that way your friends can never call you flakey.
What do orca whales at sea world use to wash themselves?
When you gotta make Music at 8 but wash Money at 10
Don't ever have multiple people wash dishes together.
It's difficult for them to stay in sink.
I sold my washing machine last week because i had a $20 bill in my last wash
I didnt want to be caught money laundering
I got in a fender bender at a car wash
My wife was planning to wash the bathroom, but it was getting late
...so she had to scrub it.
Every time I wash the dishes at night after dinner, I use a whole bottle of dishwashing liquid.
Another day, another Dawn.
The sign in the bathroom said “employees must wash hands”.
I waited over two hours for an employee to come in to wash my hands before I washed them myself and went home.
Quarantine Tip #19: Yesterday I ran out of soap and body wash and all I could find was dish detergent.
My wife hates it when I wash delicates on the casual setting...
Saw a bunch of crows wash up on the beach
Must've been murder suicide
In an alternate universe, there’s probably a sentient kitchen wash basin knocking at your front door. Let that sink in,
What does Craig David announce when he does a pyjama wash?
"This one goes out to all the P-P-Js"
Why did the gynecologist wash their hands?
Because they were afraid of crotch-contamination.
How does a mermaid wash their tail?
Why did the tree wash his hands?
Uh...... Do I need to wash my eyes if I touch them
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Do you know why eskimos wash their clothes in tide?
Because it's too cold out tide (outside)
Why did the sailor wash the dishes in his boat?
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
How do they wash laundry in Bangkok?
-Dad, can I wash the car with you?
-I don't know son, why can't you just use a sponge?
What's the best time of day to wash your engine?
Dawn, it's tough on grease.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
How do mermaids wash their clothes?
Don't ever have multiple people wash dishes together.
It's hard for them to stay in sink.
There was a knock at the door this morning, so I opened it and there was a wash basin on the doorstep. I thought,
"I'd better let this sink in."
Why does Santa wash his clothes in Tide?
Because it’s too cold outtide.
Why do Eskimos wash their clothes in tide?
Because it’s too cold out tide
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