We took a family vacation to Alaska. When we landed, dad asked:
Did Juneau we’re in the capitol city?
I went on a vacation to Hungary, but I couldn't find a hotel with any vacancies.
I get to take a vacation Wednesday...
An American man went to Germany for a vacation.
As he arrived, he decided to go fishing, so he did. But tragedy struck and his boat hit a rock, making a hole. The man, as anyone would do, called the coast guard and yelled "IM SINKING IM SINKING!"
the German Coast Guard casually replied, "what are you sinking about?"
Where does Smokey stay when he goes on vacation?
A family vacation is when you go away with people....
....you need to get away from.
Why did Inky, Blinky, Pinky and Clyde hate going on vacation?
Because they had to pack, man.
From my 70 year old dad: I hung up a map of the US in the kitchen and gave my wife a dart. I told her we would go on a two week vacation wherever she stuck the dart.
Looks like we’ll be spending two weeks behind the fridge.
My girlfriend and I have been really stressed and having some issues so we decided to take a mini vacation, a weekend trip to a ski resort.
Everything started off well, but things went downhill really fast.
I decided to go on a vacation with my family. Almost all the hotel rooms were booked except one
It was our last resort...
Where do impotent men go on vacation?
This is the first year I'm not taking a vacation to Hawaii due to Covid.
Normally I don't go because I can't afford it.
Russia has started to vaccinate the inhabitants with their own vacation
What does James Bond need to go on vacation?
I went on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation.
Where do ghosts go on vacation?
I told my suitcases we weren’t going on vacation
Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage
What do the vicugna pacos family say when they are about to go on a vacation?
What is Tiger Wood’s favorite place to go on vacation?
Where do hamsters go on vacation?
What’s a pencils favorite vacation destination?
I feel sorry for basketball players who can't go on vacation
Because they can't Travel.
What kind of house do ninja turtles live in when they go on vacation from living in the sewers and fighting crime?
Where do fans of Disturbed prefer to vacation?
I asked my kids when they wanted to go on vacation. I asked “Would July to August be okay?”
My son replied, “Why would I lie to August? That’s not nice.”
I got dad-schooled.
This is going to be the first year that I haven't taken a vacation in Paris, because of the pandemic.
Usually it is due to lack of money
Why did Thanos settle on Asgard for his vacation?
He wanted to keep it low key (Loki)
Where do crayons go for vacation?
Colorado.
(My 8 year old just made it up)
Edit: Thank you for the gilding, she's super happy about this all. You folks are too kind.
Two friends are having a conversation. "My wife has just gone on vacation in the Carribbean" say's one. "Jamaica?" replies the other.
How do you know that trees long to vacation at the beach?
Because they always bring their trunks.
I was on a family vacation in Japan when I slept in one day. My dad flung open my door and told me to wake up. I said, “Dad, what do you think this is?...
...the Land of the Rising Son?”
I listened to a jazz ensemble when I was at the ocean shore for vacation...
Nothing beats sax on the beach!
Where do murderers go on vacation?
I was tricked into buying an ill-fitting shirt while on vacation in a city in France.
My wife and I can never agree on vacations
I want to go to exotic islands and stay in 5 star hotels. She wants to come with me
I just told my suitcase that there will be no vacation this year, it sucks!
Emotional baggage is the worst!
I am thinking of going Australia for a vacation
But will I get laid if I visit Adelaid?
Told my suitcase we could not go on vacation this year
As I'm looking at my empty suitcase I thought it looked sad...
Then I thought "great... Now I have emotional baggage!"
I just bought a cruise vacation!
Couldn't help it. It was too good of a sail.
My wife took a vacation day to carry her pet lizard around town in her handbag...
It's a purse anole day for her.
Credit: Brevity by Dan Thompson for May 02, 2020
Where did the swimmer pack everything for his vacation?
Where do beekeepers stay on vacation?
Where do viruses go on vacation?
What'd the llama say before his vacation?
I went on a once in a lifetime vacation
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