Why don't Kleptomaniacs understand puns?
Because they take things literally.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
I have to tell someone about this because I'm at home alone with my 2 year old and 11 month old, and they're to young to understand my best dad joke ever.
My 2 year old has cereal in her snack cup and just showed me that there was a piece of cereal in her sleeve. I said, "Looks like you got some tricks up your sleeve." GUESS WHAT KIND OF CEREAL SHE WAS EATING!.....IT WAS TRIX!
Edit: Thanks for my first gold!
We're doing everything right, I don't understand why we can't make a baby.
No one who understands it can sleep on it.
Coin making machines are really easy to understand. It just makes cents.
Took me a moment to understand
I still don't understand why I got in trouble in high school for turning in my Biology lab notebook with a turd in it.
The teacher told us specifically to keep a log in our notebook!
I Don't Understand Why People Have Been Hating On The Police.
Roxanne is a really good song.
I can understand why the invention of the wheel is looked upon as one of the most important achievements of mankind
It was a very pivotal moment
You know, I don't understand why so many people complain about acne. I mean, don't people usually have twoknee?
I didn’t understand what the cashier said..
Guess you could say it didn’t register with me.
Help me to understand a pun, how I found it quote unquote.
I’ve never seen an old man named Kyle or Justin 🤔🤔
It takes a second to understand- or I’m just special
Not a joke: does anyone have any Dad jokes that I can use on my 5-year-old? I see maybe one joke per week on here that she would understand. Do we need a r/youngerdadjokes?
My friend said he didn't understand how cloning works
I told him that makes the two of us
I don't really understand the game of starting out calling plays for T-ball games then advancing to calling plays in the World Series...
The whole idea of Forge of Umpires confuses me.
I've just finished a really good book entitled 'Acted' - I don't really understand the relevance of the title, but the book is about censorship. Anyway, I think everyone should
I don’t understand why the thief who stole my currency collection took all the bills but left all the coins.
It was a cents-less crime.
My tree is very smart. At its current age, it understands all branches of mathematics. But when it was just a little sapling...
It only knew twigonometry
I dont understand why so many people are mad at Bill Gates
he basically invented PC.
Why couldn't anyone understand the little girl?
She was miss communication.
What did Vegeta say when he couldn't understand Goku?
I used to understand politics like the back of my hand
But now I dont know my left from my right
Mary didn’t understand revolving doors.
I don't understand people who chase whiskey...
Not once has a bottle ever run from me.
Money factories are the only thing in America I understand.
I don't understand people who don't recycle.
Why would you buy a bike and only ride it once?
At first I didn't understand the joke Pennywise told me
now i understand why i hate The Wolf of Wall Street movie
I don't understand why some people use fractions instead of decimals.
Prehistoric Dad: Son, your older brother is training to be a Hunter. Do you understand what that means?
I can't believe the sheer number of people who do not understand erectile dysfunction...
Who understands Roman Numerals?
What did Sherlock Homes say to his son when he couldn't understand him?
People who aren't impressed by pictures of a Black Hole clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation.
I don’t understand why my wife spends so much money on shampoo...
Help! As a European dad, I don't understand this sub
If you don't understand potensial energy
You most likely don't understand the gravity og the situasion
My wife said, “I don’t really understand the theory behind human cloning.”
Me: That makes two of us.
What do you call a chicken that you can understand?
I don't understand all this hate towards non traditional number systems
I for 1, love Roman numerals.
“Dad, is the Fibonacci sequence difficult to understand?”
Dad: No, it’s as easy as 1,1,2,3....
I was gonna post a joke about Sodium but then I was like Na, people wouldn’t understand it.
Haahhahahahahaa i hilarious
I recently talked about a John Cena joke with my sister, but she didn't seem to understand the joke, so I started to explain to her who John Cena is. She then asked me whether or not I seriously think that she doesn't know who John Cena is. I then told her:
"Well, I just thought you might have never seen him before."
Therapist: It seems like you have an acute phobia of marriage. Do you understand the symptoms?
Man: Can’t say that I do.
Therapist: Exactly. That’s the main one.
I don’t understand why people like traffic jams so much.
They always line up for it.
I don’t understand Joaquin Phoenix
If Phoenixes can fly why is he Joaquin?
A scarf always looks terrible on me and I don't understand why...
I just can't wrap my head around it.
It took me a while to understand why it is hard to drive in the snow,
My son borrows money from me every week, so I told him, “I don’t think you understand the seriousness of your debt situation.”
He said, “Oh please. You should really give me a bit more credit.”
I don't understand why Bed Bath & Beyond is considered a non-essential business.
Don't they carry essential oils?
I don't understand how stadiums are so hot, even during summer
There are thousands of fans at some games!
I don’t understand why someone dumped a bunch of jigsaw pieces on me...
My neighbor speaks to her cat as if it could understand her.
I told my dog and we both had a laugh about it
I completely understand coin minters
In fact, they've always made perfect cents.
I don’t think you understand the gravity of this situation
I heard this really cheesy joke earlier but I don't think you'll understand...
My girlfriend thought it would be funny to replace my medicated shampoo with regular shampoo. I tried to understand why it was funny, but
the joke just left me scratching my head.
My friend just got his PhD in using historical and literary techniques to understand piracy and its cultural connotations.
There are 10 types of people in the world, those that understand binary and those who don’t.
I don't understand why people bother sharpening their pencils.
I couldn’t understand how a boomerang works. Then it hit me.
I don't think he understands the gravity of this situation.
My teacher asked if I understand palindromes...
I said "I know them backward and forward".
If you chop down a tree in the forest, but it doesn't understand why you cut it down
I don't understand why the Australian authorities haven't called out the lady sheep to deal with the fires. Everyday, when I was a child, Smokey the Bear was on TV telling me,
"Only EWE can prevent forest fires."
I don't understand marine mammals
What porpoise do they serve
What kind of insect is hard to understand?
A Mumble-bee.
I work in the Garden Center at a DIY store and this joke is the best I can come up with ATM lol.
I don’t understand people who preserve four leaf clovers...
They’re really pressing their luck.
Edit: Thank you very much for the unexpected medal!
I bought an accent table, but I can’t understand a word it is saying.
I recently read that “icy” was the easiest word to spell. I didn’t understand at first, but now
I don't understand how Americans can be homophobic
I mean imagine having forefathers
At first I didn’t understand seatbelts then it clicked
I didn't understand the Sixth sense movie...
I have bad death perception.
I have a feeling this subreddit will understand this one
I don't understand depressed magnets.
The only way to understand these is if you had read the Percy Jackson books
Why didn't the inmate understand his wife's message?
She didn't give any context.
If I had a dime for every time I didn't understand what's going on,
I'd be like: "Why y'all keep giving me all these dimes?"
Only theremin players will understand
Ex-hula hoop champions wouldn't even understand the sophisticated techniques of current competitors.
They've just been out of the loop for too long.
"I just can't understand this slow cashier. He really needs to start making cents."
For years, people have been saying I'm too slow to understand things.
I have no idea what they're talking about.
Kleptomaniacs don’t really understand puns.
Kleptomaniacs don’t really understand puns ... they take everything literally.
Kleptomaniacs don’t really understand puns
They take everything literally
My son told me he didn't understand cloning.
I told him, 'that makes two of us'.
“Dad, is the Fibonacci sequence hard to understand?”
“Nope. It’s as easy as 1,1,2,3.”
If you walk into a forest and cut down a tree, but the tree doesn't understand why you cut it down, do you think it's stumped?
“Dad, is the Fibonacci sequence difficult to understand?”
“No. It’s as easy as 1,1,2,3.”
Therapist: You have acute marriage phobia. Do you understand the symptoms?
Me: I can’t say that I do.
Therapist: Exactly. That’s the main one.
You don't understand cloning?
Don't worry. That makes two of us.
If you walk into a forest and cut down a tree, but the tree doesn't understand why you cut it down, do you think it's stumped?
Doing math homework, huh? I don't understand why you use fractions instead of decimals.
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