Why do kleptomaniacs never understand puns?
Because they always take things literally.
Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding puns (pun line underneath)
Because they take things literally
Me(to dad): what processor does this computer have?
Mom(butting in): I think it's a Word processor...
Keep in mind English is my mom's second language and used to not understand puns or dry humor at all. I want to say I'm proud but I'm not sure that's how it works..
Idk I'm too single to understand
I don't understand why some people use fractions instead of decimals.
I don't understand why sailors used to get scurvy all the time, I mean...
They had plenty of vitamin sea.
Sometimes I use big words I don’t fully understand.
It makes me sound more photosynthesis.
The only person who understands me has to be
To understand this pun you need to know that the book in the first photo is called Apolodor
I don't understand why my friends hate my lava lamp collection...
What do you call a stupid person who can’t understand punchlines?
My wife said, “I don’t understand the science behind human cloning.”
I said, “That makes two of us.”
Only Calculus Peeps Will Understand
I had to break up with this girl who just would not stop counting.
I wonder what she’s up to now.
Someone once told me than 2 in 10 people don't understand fractions
But someone else said it was 1 in 5. So which is it?
If you can't appreciate this, please furgive me
Couldn't understand why my dog was totally motionless....
Then I realised, it was on paws.
I just can't understand why my calculator stopped working....
If you walk into a forest and cut down a tree, but the tree doesn't understand why you cut it down.
Do you think it's stumped?
Why is it so hard to understand mothers who use overly bright decorations?
They say there are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't.
I think that's Booleshit.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
I went to see my psychiatrist and told him that "no one understands me."
He said, "What do you mean by that?"
I just called GameStop Customer Service...
They asked me to please Hold. 💎🤲
I don't understand how Elvis got so fat....
He ate nothing but a hound dog.
Thank you, thank you very much.....
I don’t understand why I can't lose weight.
I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
There are only 3 types of people..
- People who can count
- People who can’t
I have to tell someone about this because I'm at home alone with my 2 year old and 11 month old, and they're to young to understand my best dad joke ever.
My 2 year old has cereal in her snack cup and just showed me that there was a piece of cereal in her sleeve. I said, "Looks like you got some tricks up your sleeve." GUESS WHAT KIND OF CEREAL SHE WAS EATING!.....IT WAS TRIX!
Edit: Thanks for my first gold!
I understand sign language
An octagon means stop, the triangle means slow down...
My wife says I don’t understand prepositional phrases.
I told her to get under it!
Opened the electric bill and the Wife can't understand why i'm on the floor laughing.
I got arrested at NASA.
I didn't understand the gravity of the situation.
Edit: thanks for the awards, kind strangers!
Gamora: "I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy."
My son asked me if the Fibonacci sequence was difficult to understand.
I said, “No, it’s as easy as 1,1,2,3.
I don't understand why anyone would use a club instead of a sword
I don't understand why people buy velcro shoes.
Do you know why kleptomaniacs have a hard time understanding puns?
Because they take things literally.
Kleptomaniacs don’t really understand puns.
Kleptomaniacs don’t really understand puns ... they take everything literally.
Kleptomaniacs don’t really understand puns
They take everything literally
Why don't Kleptomaniacs understand puns?
Because they take things literally.
My wife said, “I don’t quite understand the science behind human cloning.”
Me: That makes two of us.
Kleptomaniacs never understand jokes.
They always take things, literally.
I don’t understand why my calculator just stopped working.
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