My wife was telling me I am of average intelligence.

Now that’s just mean.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ballsquancher
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2020
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Like two peas in a (dolphin) pod
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bo_veytia
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2021
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For Intelligent, Down-to-Earth People.

If we got rid of the Earth's core, it would be dismantling to our infrastructure.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NoelCZVC
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2020
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Whats an intelligent visitor with a typo?

An educated guess

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Freezer12557
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 16 2020
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My friend thinks drinking beer makes him more intelligent.

I don’t think that makes my Budweiser.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2020
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Crows are very intelligent birds, they even go out for drinks from time to time.

It's called the crowbar

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ashnakag3019
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2020
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JFK was an extremely intelligent man

His brain was so big that it covered his entire car.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KonoAnonDa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2020
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Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?

A deus vult

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/l30_legend
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 04 2021
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What do you call an intelligent wish fulfiller?

A Genie-us

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/okmango69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2020
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Intelligent
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hados1109
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 29 2019
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Who was the least intelligent character in the Harry Potter series?

Dumb.ledore

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StaggerLee194D
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2020
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I have created the world's first artificially intelligent pottery!

It is a ware!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 06 2020
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I'm so glad our Billy inherited his mother's intelligence

...and I got to keep mine.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/K0ilar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2020
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I suspected my sister's butter had developed intelligence after she took it to school in her lunch box.

Sure enough, it was on her roll.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2020
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Half the people you know are below average.

I know the math is correct, but that’s just mean.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 99
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cerebolic-parabellum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2020
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Someone should start a business intelligence non-governmental organization.

They can call it BINGO.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/borna761
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2020
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Son: Dad, I don't know any synonyms for "intelligent".

Me: "Likewise."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13 2019
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What beverage makes cannabis more intelligent?

Budweiser

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SpiritLifter6
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 21 2019
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This explains the early-20th century intelligent look
πŸ‘οΈŽ 48
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kauntest
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2018
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You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success

there's no real difference between me and George Clooney.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11 2019
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As an Aussie, I feel sorry for my American friends and their government

After all, they’re still stuck in the last decade

πŸ‘οΈŽ 258
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Delliott90
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2019
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What do you call an intelligence test that asks you questions specifically about Japanese poems?

A haiQ test

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2018
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If intelligence was a currency...

Would it be called "common cents"?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 61
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sonicbash206
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 06 2015
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I just read in the newspaper: "Painting stolen from art museum found by a set of dustbins."

Those dustbins must be very intelligent.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2020
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Scientists have recently discovered a new species of dinosaur that's really intelligent.

it's called a thesaurus

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/banana0vanna
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2018
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Any time I do something halfway intelligent, my dad says…

"Wow, you're a fart smella...I mean smart fella!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 84
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 20 2017
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What happened when Einstein smoked pot for the first time?

Mankind attained its highest form of intelligence.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 02 2020
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I've heard talking to yourself is a sign of intelligence.

I've told myself that dozens of times.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JephriB
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 06 2018
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What's the least intelligent fish?

A dumb-bass.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/N1CET1M
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2018
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What's the smartest mountain in the world?

Mt. Cleverest.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2020
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What do you get when you cross a wall unit with artificial intelligence?

Shelf-awareness

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pjaay
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2018
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Enrico's two mallards wonder where all the intelligent aliens are.

Fermi’s pair-o’-ducks

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2017
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What do you call 3.14 intelligent cephalopods?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/he_zbz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2016
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What do you call an intelligent military machine?

A Think Tank.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/e3-po
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08 2017
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What do you call a blonde in a brunette wig

Artificial intelligence

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tjeters
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11 2020
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Why can't incontinent people work at an intelligence agency?

Because they're leaking

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RobbyLee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2017
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I just heard the first song made by artificial intelligence

You could say it was a real Siri-nade

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NoDragonsPlz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2016
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Hear they’ve made a new artificially intelligent Oreo?

It's one smart cookie.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 28 2017
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Her: Why are you talking to yourself?

Me: Sometimes I need expert advice.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2018
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A little boy went up to his father and asked:

Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied, "Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cuase I still have mine!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 07 2020
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99.9% of people are idiots

Fortunately I belong to the 1% of intelligent people

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 05 2020
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Increasing security
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/luckiest0522
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 02 2019
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I started a business building Yachts in my attic

Sails are through the roof.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 702
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mallander
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2018
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My wife bought a pumice foot stone the other day, but I made her return it.

I asked her never to bring pedi files into our house again.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SpunkBunkers
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2019
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