A friend asked for a comprehensive collection of information about seabirds...

...So I gave him a book of alternative facts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ysarro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2017
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When I'm reading, I hate the silence, but music with words is too distracting., so I always play music without it.

It's instrumental to my comprehension.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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What do you call a chicken that you can understand?

CompreHENsible

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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Decided to tell my parents some good news with a dad joke

"So, do you have to work on Labor Day this year?"

"No, we both have off."

"Did you hear they're changing it next year?"

"What?"

"Yeah, they're moving it to April."

Looks of confusion

"At least that's what my doctor said."

The dawning of comprehension on their faces, then big smiles and hugs!

..... Btw, I am a woman. I didn't specify in the post, but the context clue would be "MY doctor." I was just raised on sarcasm and corny jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonnieisstillhot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2016
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My Friday nights...

Want to know why I spend all my Friday nights at the library?

...It's lit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/epitomeofcait
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2016
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Doctors are moving away from BMI for diagnosing obesity

I think the earlier challenges in comprehensive diagnosis came from the difficulty in getting results from patients. BMI is so easy it's automatic.

Meanwhile, getting body fat percentage required calipers or an intensive water displacement test. The distribution of body fat is never concrete; when does back fat stop and butt fat begin? Then, negative physiological effects of these two is the third indicator. Those need a host of diagnoses.

We are moving to a time when getting those figures has never been easier and thus could have never before been done on a large scale.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2017
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I got dadjoked by my Spanish class this morning.

So, I teach Spanish at a small liberal arts college in the Carolinas. This morning my basic Spanish class was going over a reading comprehension exercise about a clothing store called "Corona." Corona means 'crown' in English. The ad had all kinds of words dealing with royalty, kings, and so on in it, and I wanted to go over the double meanings. So, to start, I asked them, "ΒΏCΓ³mo se dice 'corona' en inglΓ©s?" To a student, they all answered, "Beer."

I groaned and dismissed them five minutes early so I could laugh without them seeing me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2014
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