My friend, who's a mapmaker, said he had a way to represent an oblate spheroid in two dimensions.
I said "Dude, you're just projecting."
My roommate Esther and I wanted to get a new rug for our apartment, but we didn't have a tape measure. So we had to use Esther's height to guess the approximate dimensions we wanted. We bought a rug one Esther wide by two Esthers long. You could say we...
Tiny Little Ruler
I was using a ruler earlier in the day because I had to measure and cut something to very specific dimensions. It was a really tiny 6-inch ruler. A few hours later I was looking for it but couldn't find it at all and was starting to get pissed.
Me: Where the hell did it go? I had it two hours ago!
Mom: What are you looking for?
Me (shouting): the tiny little ruler!
From the other side of the house, my dad shouted: "Napoleon?"
