πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arunie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Twinning
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeathKraken933
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

So I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I once dated a girl that had a twin. . .

People always asked how I could tell them apart but it was pretty easy.

Jessica had purple fingernails, James had a dick.

πŸ‘︎ 100
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BenFranksta
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....

....and the second one Duplikate.

πŸ‘︎ 478
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.

Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.

πŸ‘︎ 243
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend told me, β€œYour wife and daughter look like twins!”

I said, β€œWell, they were separated at birth.”

πŸ‘︎ 24k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call identical twins that join the police force?

Copies.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OlafThePeach
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I've been having an affair with my wife's siamese twin.

We're doing it behind her front.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Twin brothers just had a birthday

One turned twenty. The other turned twenty too.

(Trust me it works when you say it out loud)

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Different_Ad953
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a twin brother in prison

We finish each other's sentences.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?

Anna1 Anna2

πŸ‘︎ 583
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mpschmidtlein
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I read a story about twin brothers born with a single body and shared organs.

Age 6 they were separated in a successful 13hr surgery. Later in life they went to prison for armed robbery. They served 10yrs. Afterwards they wrote their book about being ex-con joined twins.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshWithaQ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend Jay recently had twins, and want to name them after him.

So I suggested Kay and Elle.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My twins give me chills, dehydration, fatigue, fever, loss of appetite, and extreme diarrhea.

Their names are Sam and Ella.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Hispanic firefighter name his twin sons?

Hose-A and Hose-B

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/b0kch0y14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The twin towers of New York World Trade Center are like genders.

There used to be two, but now they are just a sensitive topic.

Also: The real 9/11 pays respect! The world remembers 9/11.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amar610
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I failed my Calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.

It was hard to differentiate between them.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother just had twins so I invited him to join the group.

He is now a Pa Pa

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Greystone_86
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Womb-mates is an acceptable term for twins
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lvl100mafia_boss
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend just found out she will be giving birth to twins in 9 months!

For now, they're just cell mates.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/7_Pillars
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me that she was pregnant with twin girls.

I told her that I wanted to name the first one Kate. She asked what I wanted to name the second one. I answered Duplicate.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My twin sister always takes the stairs, but I prefer taking the elevator.

I guess.... we are raised differently.

πŸ‘︎ 355
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?

De-calf-inated

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ncbenavi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call conjoined twins that have emotionally bonded?

Close.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fried_cereal69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My sister had twins, a boy and a girl, and asked for help naming them.

She liked my suggestion of calling the girl Denise, but had second thoughts when I suggested calling the boy Danephew.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A man called his twin brother from prison

β€œHey remember when we were kids and use to finish each other’s sentences?”

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lazydoodlelol
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My twin preschool boys were playing with foam letters in the bathtub.

One happened to put the letter T into a toy stacking cup I was holding. I tried to give it to him but he didn't want it.

So I turned to my other son and said, "Hmm, guess it's not his cup of T".

Neither 3yo got it so I had to tell someone.

πŸ‘︎ 409
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?

Because they get stereo instead!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Siigari
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What are male twins inside a pregnant woman called?

Em-bro-yos

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mudgeeeee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A pediatric surgeon sewed his kids together as a new form of punishment.

If you can’t beat β€˜em, join β€˜em.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jay-overthinks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Two women were sharing the same ID card

Sharon is Karen

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MomsSpoghetti
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
How did mama Moose differentiate between her twin son Moose?

With a Moosetash

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bonp27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the drummer call his twin sons?

Tom

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Flazdude
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?

Anna 1, Anna 2

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scooby_dyver
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
If I were doing any better, I’d be twins. Then again...

If I were twins, I’d be beside myself.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at work.

So, I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘︎ 134
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
If I have twin daughters, I'll name one Kate

And I'll name the other DupliKate

πŸ‘︎ 119
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Salman_R
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mum only carries one photo......

...... because if you’ve seen Juan you’ve seen Amal

πŸ‘︎ 340
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GrazingGiraffe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.

Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....

........and the second one DupliKate.

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

So, I have an uncle once removed.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
If I had twins I'd name the first one Bill

The second one is Doubill

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dizzie222
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the name of Kate's identical twin?

Duplikate

πŸ‘︎ 121
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report

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