I am trying to develop a new hobby that does not involve getting drunk. I've decided on Cooking, much to my Husband's horror! This is a wonderful man who very decidedly did not marry me for my cooking skills. I remember making Top Ramen for him in the 80's and he had to explain to me what that metal floating thing was in the water! I am a fucking great nurse but I am no cook. I had to go to college to learn to be a nurse. I have to figure I can also learn to be a great cook. OK, a decent cook. Fine! A cook that will not have to call 911 for you. At any level, he needs to give me a chance at cooking. This morning he was screaming at me over the Crock Pot. There are way more important things to fight over. Yes, tradionally, if he's home, he's been the main cook. I didn't have time to care really about food but now I do. I can eat taco salad 5 nights a week. But now I'm retired. And I'm sober. I finally have the time and vague interest to cook for us. The kids have moved out so they are not in danger!
UPDATE: We had dinner an hour ago. The pork roast was very tender. There are no casualties to report. Yet.
Hello! I am pregnant, and craving steaks and pork chops when I actually want to eat. I looked into the main fears for rare meat, and the biggest one seems to be toxoplasmosis (the same one we can catch by cleaning the litter box). I am trying to figure out the time/temp curve to make sure what I cook is safe to eat, but (hopefully) close to my preferred temp for how pink it is.
This is what I have found so far: “Thermal death curves for the interaction of temperature and time required to kill T. gondii in meat have been generated. From these data, we know that T. gondii is killed in 336 seconds at 49°C, in 44 seconds at 55°C, and in 6 seconds at 61°C. These times and temperatures apply only when the product reaches and maintains temperatures evenly distributed throughout the meat. The temperatures reported to kill Toxoplasma gondii are lower than those required for Trichinella spiralis. Thus methods prescribed for the destruction of trichinae in the USDA’s Code of Federal Regulations are effective for the destruction of T. gondii also. The use of microwaves is not effective in killing T. gondii, probably because of uneven heating throughout the meat.”
The longest time on here is about 5.5 mins, so it doesn’t really give me a good idea for what I need for sous vide. Any ideas/knowledge?
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
My dog ate raw pork, my mom was unaware dogs cannot eat raw pork and gave her what she didnt use. We cannot take her to a vet as of now because covid, she is vomiting yellow and has diarrhea. Is there anything I can do?? Will she be okay???
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
