Why did the priest quit his job to become a personal trainer?

He was really into exorcising

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
How does a lazy martial arts trainer announce himself?

Hi, Ya

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.

I've just handed in my too weak notice.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hobo4lifee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know Cardi B has a sister who is a personal trainer?

Her name is Cardi O

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrillinGorilla
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend broke up with me when she walked in on me making out with my personal trainer

She said "This isn't working out."

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I asked my personal trainer at the gym, which type of machine I should use to make myself more attractive to women?

He suggested, the cash machine .

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My personal trainer was upset at me because I kept using the same machine at the gym

It was the vending machine

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
I asked the trainer at the gym, which machine I should use to impress the ladies?

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine. "

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Pokemon Trainer who got an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony?

Looks like EGOT 'em all.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tehmayormccheese
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the SeaWorld trainer that was caught molesting the sea cows?

He was arrested for crimes against huge manatees.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evilmd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the PokΓ©mon trainer get HIV?

Sharing Weedles!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Hojoe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the dolphin trainer upset with the surfer?

Because he did it on porpoise.

(Told this to my 4 kids and got 2 groans, one confused look, and an eye-roll)

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikethejoe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm a personal trainer for members of 1960's rock bands.

I'm still working out the Kinks.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jkpianocomposer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
So I walked in on my wife having sex with her personal trainer:

And i knew right away that this isnt working out

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/torreador13
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to be Pennywise’s personal trainer!

Unfortunately it didn’t work out...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeathySpaghetti
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My personal trainer is really good!

He gives me a run for my money

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kpax
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a personal trainer and him and I do a lot of resistance training

He tells me to lift something and I say no

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DwelveDeeper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Luke had a sister and a trainer toooo...

Leia, Yoda, Leia, Yoda, Leia HEE HOOOOO

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.

I guess you could say they perform... thespionage

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StrangeQuark32
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the boxer who left a sad farewell for his trainer?

It was a real punch-in-the-gut.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my personal trainer for another way to work my trapezius muscles besides doing pull downs...

He shrugged and walked away.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A boxer was throwing nothing but right hooks at a punching bag. Trainer walks up and says "what gives?"

Boxer says "I'm exercising my rights"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeverShan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2017
🚨︎ report
I started with a personal trainer today. She told me to drop and give her 20.

Sheesh, I didn’t know there was going to be hidden fees.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whitebeaks
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
The animal trainers at SeaWorld have made some mistakes

But when they work with dolphins they do it on porpoise

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MexElf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My trainer asked if I’m engaging my abs when I use the ab roller. I told him they’re not engaged, they’re single
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnippityPippity
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone has stolen all my trainers and high visibility jackets from my shed.

They can run, but they cannot hide.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VanillaKidd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a bug-type trainer's favorite band?
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrochetKitten
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I hear jewish personal trainers are the best.

They muscle tov.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you guys see the video of the dolphin knocking the trainer into the pool?

Some say it was an accident, but I think he did it on porpoise.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
After an intense session at the gym, I asked my personal trainer what was the best way to show off my new muscles.

He told me to hang upside down from a tree branch and curl my arms behind my back.

I said β€œweird flex but OK”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Got hired at a gym recently as a personal trainer but it wasn't working out...

I had to put in my too weak notice.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevingcp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A PokΓ©mon trainer was running late...

It was 9:50 PM and the giant shopping center near the PokΓ©mon trainer’s home closed at 10 PM. He was driving very fast to try and make it. Of course, he got pulled over. The officer approached the car and asked, β€œWhy were you going so fast, sir?”

His reply, β€œWell officer, I gotta catch a mall.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pastorjeff2000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my personal trainer to give me a discount...

He said I'll try to stretch your money

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What make of trainers do chickens wear?

Reebok - Bok - bok - bok - bokka!!!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hammond798
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My personal trainer said I should start doing calf raises.

I can barely lift up my cat, let alone a baby cow.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
🚨︎ report
My personal trainer said flexibility is the foundation of good fitness...

I guess that all's well that bends well!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
One day I want to create a documentary that follows the life of a dolphin trainer. I’ll call it, β€œliving with a porpoise.”
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/millennialmystic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I’m not big enough or strong enough

I’ve just handed in my Too weak notice.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Aarsh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know Cardi B has a sister who’s an athletic trainer ?

Her name is Cardi O

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dashedthoughts
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL that Cardi B has a sister. She’s a personal trainer.

Her name is Cardi O.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tctitan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Who’s Cardi B’s personal trainer?

Cardi O

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThunderAlex2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer and I don't think I'm quite fit enough for the job.

Therefore I've handed in my 'Too Weak Notice'

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know Cardi B has a sister who's a personal trainer?

Yeah, her name is Cardi O

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsolinkable
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know Cardi B has a sister who’s an athletic trainer?

Her name is Cardi O.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/powderbubba
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know the name of Cardi B's sister? She is working as a trainer.

Her name is Cardi-O.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterSirF
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Cardi B used to be a personal trainer?

Back then she went by Cardi O.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cypherdev
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What trainers do chickens wear?

Reebok bok bok bok bokaaaa

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gandu_boshturd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report

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