Why did the priest quit his job to become a personal trainer?
He was really into exorcising
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︎ May 20 2021
How does a lazy martial arts trainer announce himself?
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︎ May 18 2021
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.
I've just handed in my too weak notice.
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︎ Oct 22 2020
Did you know Cardi B has a sister who is a personal trainer?
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︎ Feb 18 2021
My girlfriend broke up with me when she walked in on me making out with my personal trainer
She said "This isn't working out."
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︎ Jan 14 2021
I asked my personal trainer at the gym, which type of machine I should use to make myself more attractive to women?
He suggested, the cash machine .
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︎ Mar 17 2021
My personal trainer was upset at me because I kept using the same machine at the gym
It was the vending machine
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︎ Jan 31 2021
I asked the trainer at the gym, which machine I should use to impress the ladies?
He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine. "
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Did you hear about the Pokemon Trainer who got an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony?
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︎ Jan 04 2021
Did you hear about the SeaWorld trainer that was caught molesting the sea cows?
He was arrested for crimes against huge manatees.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
How did the PokΓ©mon trainer get HIV?
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︎ Nov 24 2020
Why was the dolphin trainer upset with the surfer?
Because he did it on porpoise.
(Told this to my 4 kids and got 2 groans, one confused look, and an eye-roll)
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︎ Oct 10 2020
I'm a personal trainer for members of 1960's rock bands.
I'm still working out the Kinks.
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︎ Oct 18 2020
So I walked in on my wife having sex with her personal trainer:
And i knew right away that this isnt working out
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︎ May 10 2020
I used to be Pennywiseβs personal trainer!
Unfortunately it didnβt work out...
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︎ Aug 02 2020
My personal trainer is really good!
He gives me a run for my money
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︎ Jul 14 2020
I have a personal trainer and him and I do a lot of resistance training
He tells me to lift something and I say no
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︎ Jul 12 2020
Luke had a sister and a trainer toooo...
Leia, Yoda, Leia, Yoda, Leia HEE HOOOOO
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︎ Jun 22 2020
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
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︎ May 24 2020
Did you hear about the boxer who left a sad farewell for his trainer?
It was a real punch-in-the-gut.
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︎ Apr 02 2020
I asked my personal trainer for another way to work my trapezius muscles besides doing pull downs...
He shrugged and walked away.
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︎ Mar 05 2020
A boxer was throwing nothing but right hooks at a punching bag. Trainer walks up and says "what gives?"
Boxer says "I'm exercising my rights"
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︎ Mar 06 2017
I started with a personal trainer today. She told me to drop and give her 20.
Sheesh, I didnβt know there was going to be hidden fees.
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︎ Oct 23 2019
The animal trainers at SeaWorld have made some mistakes
But when they work with dolphins they do it on porpoise
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︎ Jan 17 2020
My trainer asked if Iβm engaging my abs when I use the ab roller. I told him theyβre not engaged, theyβre single
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︎ Aug 29 2019
Someone has stolen all my trainers and high visibility jackets from my shed.
They can run, but they cannot hide.
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︎ Sep 25 2019
What's a bug-type trainer's favorite band?
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︎ Jan 30 2019
I hear jewish personal trainers are the best.
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︎ May 06 2019
Did you guys see the video of the dolphin knocking the trainer into the pool?
Some say it was an accident, but I think he did it on porpoise.
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︎ Aug 04 2019
After an intense session at the gym, I asked my personal trainer what was the best way to show off my new muscles.
He told me to hang upside down from a tree branch and curl my arms behind my back.
I said βweird flex but OKβ
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︎ Nov 10 2018
Got hired at a gym recently as a personal trainer but it wasn't working out...
I had to put in my too weak notice.
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︎ Mar 14 2019
A PokΓ©mon trainer was running late...
It was 9:50 PM and the giant shopping center near the PokΓ©mon trainerβs home closed at 10 PM. He was driving very fast to try and make it. Of course, he got pulled over. The officer approached the car and asked, βWhy were you going so fast, sir?β
His reply, βWell officer, I gotta catch a mall.β
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︎ Jun 24 2019
I asked my personal trainer to give me a discount...
He said I'll try to stretch your money
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︎ Jul 14 2019
What make of trainers do chickens wear?
Reebok - Bok - bok - bok - bokka!!!
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︎ Apr 30 2019
My personal trainer said I should start doing calf raises.
I can barely lift up my cat, let alone a baby cow.
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︎ Jul 31 2018
My personal trainer said flexibility is the foundation of good fitness...
I guess that all's well that bends well!
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︎ Mar 03 2019
One day I want to create a documentary that follows the life of a dolphin trainer. Iβll call it, βliving with a porpoise.β
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︎ Jun 16 2018
I decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because Iβm not big enough or strong enough
Iβve just handed in my Too weak notice.
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︎ Jun 13 2020
Do you know Cardi B has a sister whoβs an athletic trainer ?
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︎ Nov 15 2020
TIL that Cardi B has a sister. Sheβs a personal trainer.
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︎ Nov 17 2020
Whoβs Cardi Bβs personal trainer?
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︎ Sep 27 2020
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer and I don't think I'm quite fit enough for the job.
Therefore I've handed in my 'Too Weak Notice'
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︎ Jul 09 2020
Did you know Cardi B has a sister who's a personal trainer?
Yeah, her name is Cardi O
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︎ Jul 10 2020
Did you know Cardi B has a sister whoβs an athletic trainer?
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︎ Jun 30 2020
Do you know the name of Cardi B's sister? She is working as a trainer.
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︎ Jul 01 2020
Did you know that Cardi B used to be a personal trainer?
Back then she went by Cardi O.
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︎ Dec 26 2019
What trainers do chickens wear?
Reebok bok bok bok bokaaaa
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︎ Mar 26 2019
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