He gave the toy horses a home in his ___
π︎ 3k
π
︎ May 07 2021
What's a pirates favorite toy to play with?
π︎ 18
π
︎ May 12 2021
There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world.
And then you will all be sorry.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ May 01 2021
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
A man was admitted to hospital today with 10 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum.
Doctors have described his condition as stable.
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 20 2021
Several religious groups are banding together to outlaw adult toys.
Their reasoning is the Bible says, "It's Adam and Eve, not Florence + the Machine."
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 15 2021
My little girl accidentally broke one of her toy flowers. All I could say was...
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 06 2021
What was Old MacDonald's favorite toy as a child?
π︎ 330
π
︎ Feb 06 2021
I just got fired from a job where I made six figures last year.
They said I was the worst employee at the toy factory.
π︎ 471
π
︎ May 19 2021
My dog lost his favorite toy this week...
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 26 2021
What toy can a blind person never play with at the park?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
Where do toy stores keep their Terminator action figures?
π︎ 103
π
︎ Feb 10 2021
I told my friend I was going to rob a toy store for some board games
He said I could go to jail for it. I said it was a Risk worth taking
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
Did you hear that less toys have been made this year in Santaβs workshop?
Many of his workers had to Elf Isolate.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
What did the dog say when he threw his old chew toy away?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
What do you call a stuffed toy pig when throw like a football?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
What kind of car does a Jedi drive.....
π︎ 24
π
︎ May 15 2021
Weβre in the process of potty training my two year old. My wife took her into the bathroom and argued with her that sheβs not allowed to take toys into the bathroom.
I interrupted her and told her that it is in fact called a toy-let.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
My son got a new toy car, the Toyota SHOEpra...
π︎ 20
π
︎ Oct 17 2020
I heard that Santaβs workers donβt like to share their toys.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
What do you call a tinker toy that someone farted on?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
They are definitely KINDER
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Sep 29 2020
It doesn't matter how old you are....
....if a child hands you a toy phone, you answer it.
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 04 2021
What is Pinky's (of Pinky and the Brain) favorite toy?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
There was once a balloon family...
Papa balloon, Muma balloon and Bubba balloon.
Bubba balloon was still sleeping with Papa and Muma balloon but he was starting to get too big.
Papa and Muma balloon got a bedroom setup for Bubba balloon so they can finally sleep alone. But every night he would come in crying to sleep with Papa and Muma balloon but they never let up.
But one night, Bubba balloon waited for the Papa and Muma balloon to be faaaast asleep. He tried to squeeze in between them but he couldn't quite fit. Very carefully, he started to let some air out of Papa balloon... It wasn't enough. Very carefully, he let some air out of Muma balloon... But it still wasn't enough. He didn't want to deflate his parents any more... So he slowly let some air out of himself. It was perfect. He snuggled in and slept soundly.
The next morning, you could imagine how disappointed Papa and Muma balloon was. Papa balloon said: We tried to help you and tried to help you grow in toy a Big Boy balloon. We are so disappointed with you.
You let ME down...
You let your Muma down...
But most disappointing of all... You let yourself down!
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 18 2021
Why didnβt the baby shrimp want to share his toys?
He was a little shellfish.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 04 2020
Whatβs a rappers favourite toy?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
I got a job at a factory that makes Dracula toys
Its only me and one other worker. I need to make every second Count
π︎ 137
π
︎ Jun 29 2020
I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage, son.
You'll need something to play with.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
Next level "toy yoda"
π︎ 35
π
︎ Jun 12 2020
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isnβt the worst thing that happened to me today.
But itβs definitely up there.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Oct 17 2019
Why are plush toys never hungry?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jun 26 2020
Since this is a βNanaβ tree (common name for Juniperus Procumens Green Mountain Juniper bonsai), it was suggested I have a βbaβ. Therefore, since the stock ticker for Boeing is BA, I bought a toy 787. That means there is now a βbananaβ on the counter.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jul 30 2020
I got my kid a toy of a surrealist painter
Itβs her Salvador dolly.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
Santa got Coronavirus this year so Mrs Claus had to take over toy production, orders, and present deliveries.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
Why don't toy swords hurt?
They're only hokey pokey!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 30 2020
My wife bought all these dog toys, but Scooter here isnβt quite sure what heβs supposed to do.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jun 21 2020
My wife took my toy boat away.
She told me to quit playing with my dinghy.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
Balls have got to be one of the oldest toys.
Theyβve been βround a long time.
π︎ 86
π
︎ Apr 17 2020
How do you say toy in Chinese?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 19 2020
My baby sister just threw a toy horse at me
I told her to hold her horses
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 26 2020
What do you call a stationary shop that sells adult toys?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 17 2020
My daughter asked where her toy Cryolophosaurus might be. I suggested...
"Maybe the Mesozoic Era?"
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 12 2020
Son tied a fist toy to my fishing net
I dont get the punchline but he's smiling
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 11 2020
My kid wanted a Yoda toy.
I told him we already got Toyota
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.