It was a very cryptic message.
Especially if my last words were "Help! I fell in the wall!"
They're all engraved.
(I told this to my five year old this morning and got a very satisfying groan.)
You've made a grave mistake...
They say Everest
If it's two monsters, it's a monster mash.
Otherwise, it's a graveyard smash.
What a RIP-off
Police are calling it a grave matter
I want it to read "Not enjoying my jokes when I was alive was a grave mistake".
It just seems like a dying industry...
STahp
Dad: "Extra Cheese."
That's the last thing I need.
The man never took it seriously at first, he figured he was just getting older and blamed it on age.
After a few weeks, the man has developed an incredible frequent and annoying cough.
His wife is annoyed and is constantly telling him to go the doctor, but the man kept refusing.
One day during an argument, his wife has had it with his coughing and hacking and tells him "Im making a bet, if this damn coughin kills you i'm writing ' I told you so' on your tombstone!"
The man laughs her off since they both have a twisted sense of humor, and tells her its a deal, if the coughin kills him she can carve that.
The man continues on for another week
One day the man is out going for a walk through his neighborhood, when a freak accident occurs between a truck carrying coffins and a car, which results in a coffin flying off the truck, tragically landing on the old man and kills him.
Later at his funeral, his wife makes a very odd request to have them carve "I told you so" on his headstone.
When the caretaker asks her why she wants to do this, she tells him about their dark humor, and fills him in on the bet they recently made.
The caretaker is touched by the story, and agrees to do it for her, because in the end,
It was that damn coffin that killed him
Apparently he just serves Tombstones
And places a bandaged limb on the bar. He announces, "I am looking for the man who shot my paw!"
But a tombstone is the last thing I'll need.
and we pass one of those memorial/tombstone benches that has the last name "Smart" on it.
"Those are for Smart asses," he says.
Nice one, dad.
Tombstone.
"Did you hear what they just did with Billy Mays' tombstone?"
"No..."
"They changed the inscription. Now it reads: BILLY LAYS HERE"
(And yeah, I need some new material. :) )
This is a grave situation.
People always take the tombstones for granite.
That's the place where dead people live.
Today over supper, we were talking about a cemetery nearby which was recently discovered to contain centuries-old tombstones buried along with the corpses underground. I found this to be strange since typically the tombstones are above ground. During the conversation, this happened:
Me: "Why did they bury them?"
Dad: "Because they were dead!"
... the tombstones dad.
