I remember standing in solitude, at the end of the long landing overlooking the Pacific Ocean - this disembodied voice was urging me to jump, so I did...
I never could stand up to pier pressure.
A psychotic criminal stole a train. He said the reason was the voices in the head told him to.
Got offered a voice-acting role in the new Emoji movie sequel. They want me to play the Poop Emoji. People say I should accept the role and be grateful, but I’m holding out for a classier part...
...I will not be deterred!!
My wife tells me not to listen to the voices that bring me down and make me feel worthless.
She also complains that I never listen to her.
What's the drug that changes your voice?
"Okay rookie, the first thing you've got to learn about making pornography for the blind is: Voice Projection."
"That sounds hard."
"Thank you. I'm a professional."
I just changed the audio of my GPS to a man's voice...
Now it just says, "It's around here somewhere. Keep driving for a little while. "
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
Which brand of computer has the best singing voice?
Pirates of yore would get a treasure chest off a looted vessel and often hear voices coming from the chest saying "yoo hoo!"
If a judge loves the sound of his own voice,
The moment I realise I lost my voice __________
In the Disney animated picture, Ratatouille, Remy controls Linguini actions by pulling his hair, giving him a perfect palette. The little chef’s squeak is the only other voice Linguini ever really hears at home.
I guess you could say Remy is Linguini’s voice of season
A man sits down at a bar. After a moment, he hears a voice behind him say "Hey, that shirt looks great on you!" He turns around, and nobody is there. Confused, he asks the bartender, "Where did that voice come from?" The bartender says...
"Oh, it's the peanuts.
They're complimentary."
I remember when I made a joke about a kid dying. My dad sat me down on the couch and told me in a serious voice "jokes about kids dying young...
What did the snail say to his voice activated vehicle when it asked him if he was ready to go for a drive
CAN you raise your voice unto the malt, sing songs and Heineken of glory
If you have a satnav that you can change the voice on, please do not use Bono from U2!
I did this last week and now the streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for!
I was surprised when I lost my voice for the first time
Priam, the mythological ruler of Troy, was infamous for yelling at his subjects until he lost his voice
Perhaps that's why they called him the hoarse Trojan.
I was walking by the dump and heard voices yelling at each other,
Why was the foals voice so scratchy...
If you’re trying to get your point across about something, try adjusting the decibel level of your voice up and down while talking.
It will speak volumes to people.
Girlfriend called me last night. She wanted to talk, but I couldn't hear her voice because of the static noise
If I ever lose my voice I want to have the Stephen Hawking voice modulator.
I’ve always wanted to speak intelligently.
The bro with the tribal tattoos that is blasting Nickleback and is vaping all the time, has an annoying voice.
But it's mostly his axe-scent.
I love my career at the voice recording studio.
I don't know what it is, but the job just really speaks to me
A voice at the back of my head keeps telling me...
That the doctors really screwed up my mouth surgery.
So I found this talking train and asked it why it just went back and forth on the same tracks for its whole life. It responded saying “the voices in my head tell me to”.
I told my wife that I thought that the Grinch's voice was a little strange...
The doctor told me that my voice box is damaged and I might not speak again for a while.
I can’t tell you how much this upsets me.
My old English teacher used to flunk us just for not using the active voice
He was very passive aggressive
What did the foal say when he lost his voice?
I'm sorry, I'm a little horse.
TIL in the late 2000s RIM was developing a voice interface to compete with Apple’s soon-to-be revealed Siri.
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
Which computer has the best voice?
A voice at the back of my head keeps telling me...
..that the doctors really screwed up my mouth surgery.
The doctor told me my voice box is damaged and I may never speak again...
I can’t tell you how upset I am...
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