Use a Luigi board.
“You ghost girl!”
"I'm on antidepressants."
He's going in for surgery at 3:30pm Pacific. All your positive thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
Edit: Thank you all for the kind words and omg for the gold! He's out of surgery and looks to be recovering nicely. All your well wishes helped cheer him and his parents up.
My daughter had to wire an essay about her hobby, which is softball. Her opener:
Pitcher this, you’re standing on a mound.
I was overwhelmed, and more proud than ever. She threw in some other puns too, it was an excellent essay, she’s giving me a run for my money, I batter watch out.
Edit: thank you u/PsychicGnome for the reminder that my kids are better parents than I am
But I just can't seem to open the bottle
The bartender says, "Sorry, but Christmas passed."
We have the obvious ones like, let's make like a tree and leaf and our group is always branching out, but we would love as many as you can come up with!
Thanks guys
Scapegoat
Idaho-ho-ho!
Kudos to my 9 year old son for coming up with this on his own.
Dad: No but they have ghosts
This one one of the better ones from my dad
A poultry-geist.
Courtesy of my father while eating rotisserie chicken.
Perhaps she'll be able to tell me herself at the funeral
Bad boohavior.
He said, "Have you got Jack Daniels Honey?"
I said, "We do, but don't call me that."
He drops the Bayes
Actually, it’s Nun of the above.
A Holey Ghost.
Claustrophobic
You could call him eggnogstic.
Try to neghostiate.
