A happy medium
Lion, Ass, Cheetah
Use a Luigi board.
“You ghost girl!”
Because they're...
...sole-less!
Because they live under the rock.
Guess they're blaming it on the boogie.
"I'm on antidepressants."
He's going in for surgery at 3:30pm Pacific. All your positive thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
Edit: Thank you all for the kind words and omg for the gold! He's out of surgery and looks to be recovering nicely. All your well wishes helped cheer him and his parents up.
In the purrgatory.
My daughter had to wire an essay about her hobby, which is softball. Her opener:
Pitcher this, you’re standing on a mound.
I was overwhelmed, and more proud than ever. She threw in some other puns too, it was an excellent essay, she’s giving me a run for my money, I batter watch out.
Edit: thank you u/PsychicGnome for the reminder that my kids are better parents than I am
If I integrated a gym into my liquor store.
I told the minerals to go home, they were drunk.
A small medium at large.
It got charged with a-soul-t
He couldn't bear the results
But I just can't seem to open the bottle
Seriously though, terrible loss.
Otherwise you’re decisions could come back to haunt you.
wait I got it, nevermind
they'll always ghost you
The bartender says, "Sorry, but Christmas passed."
The are too cheap to pay for carrion luggage.
With a Luigi Board.
