A happy medium
Lion, Ass, Cheetah
Use a Luigi board.
I told her to call the cheerleading squad instead. Figured they might know the school spirit.
“You ghost girl!”
A Boo Boo!
Because they're...
...sole-less!
Because they live under the rock.
Guess they're blaming it on the boogie.
He’s my spirit guide.
Edit: Thanks guys.
It’s a spirited discussion.
"I'm on antidepressants."
He's going in for surgery at 3:30pm Pacific. All your positive thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
Edit: Thank you all for the kind words and omg for the gold! He's out of surgery and looks to be recovering nicely. All your well wishes helped cheer him and his parents up.
Smells like teen spirit
I decided to woo her.
Because it lifts their spirits
We’re sitting in the chill out area at work and there’s an old Metallica guitar Tab book near us.
One of the girls says “That book smells like the 90’s”.
A guy laughs and says “What does the 90’s smell like?”
I say “Teen Spirit!”
Certain related tribes in sub-Saharan Africa often raided each other's villages when most folk were herding animals. Sometimes they would take vegetables and water, but more often taking little things, to gently mock each other. It was all in good fun. After a successful raid, the "winning" tribe would celebrate by dancing under the stars, or in one of their large, grass-covered spirit houses.
One day, the Imaqi took their Satari shaman's sceptre. The following day, the Satari not only stole the sceptre back, but also the Imaqi chief's regalia.
It went back and forth, until, on a rare and daring escapade, three Imaqi warriors stole the Santari chief's throne. They put it on display, above their chief's throne in the spirit house.
The Imaqi thought that this was hilarious, and as it was beginning to rain, made merry and danced in the spirit house. Suddenly, the heavy throne on display fell down and killed a number of the dancing revelers.
The moral should be obvious: those who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
To lift his spirits
In the purrgatory.
They were amazing at possessing the ball.
*My son's joke. I'm so proud.
My daughter had to wire an essay about her hobby, which is softball. Her opener:
Pitcher this, you’re standing on a mound.
I was overwhelmed, and more proud than ever. She threw in some other puns too, it was an excellent essay, she’s giving me a run for my money, I batter watch out.
Edit: thank you u/PsychicGnome for the reminder that my kids are better parents than I am
If I integrated a gym into my liquor store.
I lost my case.
....or, am I a really bad teacher ?
I told the minerals to go home, they were drunk.
A small medium at large.
With a Luigi Board.
