The best part of writing a book using only a Ouija board is getting all the credit.

Because it was written by a ghost writer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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I've made a ouija board using alphabeti spaghetti.

It's great for contacting people who've pasta way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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Oh look, Ouija made a dad joke. reddit.com/r/AskOuija/com…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshP99
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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Instead of using a ouija board to talk to ghosts, I use a pile of window cleaners.

It's my squeegee hoard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matvavna
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
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Why did the chicken buy a ouija board?

He could never get to the other side so he tried to contact it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/standupok
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
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My girlfriend left me so I stole her wheelchair

Guess who’s come crawling back

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnster1991
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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I used a pumpkin to summon ghosts.

It was a Ouija Gourd

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pshiel23
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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How does French Super Mario tell his fortune?

L’ouija board.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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My 17yo niece fell victim to my 32yo dad/uncle humor.

So my mom, my oldest sister, and her daughter where at mine and my wife’s house for the weekend.

After having all the lights out so my wife and niece could play with a Ouija board, my niece wanted to make a cup of hot cocoa in the kitchen but she could find the light switch. The following exchange occurred...

Niece: Where is the light in the kitchen? Me: On the ceiling. Niece: Ok, but how do you turn it on? Me: With a light switch. Niece: Where is the light switch? Me: On the wall. Niece: Which wall? Me: The one with the switch.

She’s a good sport tho. We where laughing, she was grinning but definitely done with my uncle shit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HunterShotBear
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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A woman was missing her her dead husband, so she went to see a medium.

The Medium started a seance and said, in a sing-song voice, "John, if you are with us, please say something".

The Ouija board immediately started spelling out: S-O-M-E-T-H-...

Wife: THAT'S HIM!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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What device does Mario use when he wants to communicate with the dead?

A Lou-ouija board.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Renton_Knox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2016
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Luigi's Mansion, or as I like to call it...

Luigi Ouija Squeegee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JFW0RD
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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I actually find talking with spirits gets quite monotonous...

I guess I'm just "Ouija bored"..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/t3ddan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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wife: "if there are any spirits here please show us a sign"

me:

wife:

me:

wife: "keith, say something"

me: "i'm scared"

[glass starts to move on ouija board]

H I S C A R E D

me: "goddamnit dad"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbhelms
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
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I actually find talking with spirits gets quite monotonous

I guess you can just call me "Ouija bored"..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/t3ddan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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