The insaniTEA is real
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πŸ‘€︎ u/07huskypup
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
The real benefit to cheesemaking isn’t the cheese itself

It’s the friends you make along the whey.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aphex-Puddle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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I went out with a girl the other night, she wore this real slinky dress...

She looked great going down the stairs.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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Is this the real life?
πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xXundryzXx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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The irony is real.
πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPounds
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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The best bakers use real butter so . . . .

there is no margarine for error.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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What does a real estate agent from the Seychelles specialized in beachfront properties do?

She sells Seychelles by the sea shore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kngfbng
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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I pine fir the good oak days, when it was poplar to spruce up the living room with a real tree.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/und88
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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A guy’s Mom comes to visit him at his job at the aquarium where she finds him feeding a baby dolphin. She says look at you, you were smart. You could have had a real job, really done some good for the world. Her son snapped back,...

Hey, my job serves a youthful porpoise!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectOcoee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the Kansas City Chiefs quarterback say when he saw his real estate properties go up in flames?

Mahomes!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spaneika
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
He was sentenced to drinking spruce tea or leaving for 6 months because he was teaching the youth how to be passive-aggressive. His disciple Playdoh wrote half a screenplay about him before giving up and finding a real job.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NRGFalcon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I got into an argument with someone I thought was a "birds aren't real" supporter. I'm an idiot; they were just messing with me and they made some amazing bird puns along the way that deserve attention. The link to the post is in the comments so you can go give the user karma and see the context.

https://preview.redd.it/n7zvpwxkj6m51.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=54f0549ebd3c055929698d6fef3bc05782bf5282

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLeader11037
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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The public pool sector must be taking a real dive right now
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ruzenu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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The real Curdle Buddies
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kwasiuman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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I had real trouble getting a spoon out of the dishwasher.

How it got stuck up her butt I'd never know.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t the Golden Globe awards go to real people?

Because all the winners are paid actors.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EliteCombatWombat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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We all know who's the real enemy of capitalism...

the lowercases ._.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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I keep reading about Real Madrid in the news,

I do hope they catch the Fake Madrid.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EotEaH
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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I just read that times were real tough for musicians in the early 17th century...

They were all Baroque

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/qwopcircles
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Probably the real monster Eminem was talking about
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LBJM18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I just found out The Oscars aren’t real

The audience is full of paid actors.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mfitzy87
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
First time I’ve seen a real bobcat in the wild.
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thecatsofReddit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw real a real idiot at the gym.

He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/parasnohwar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
[Meta] The real purpose of dad jokes

Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.

But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."

It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.

You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.

In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.

This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 141
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Permatato
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Appreciation: I love this sub's jokes, but we all know the real dad jokes are the ones in the comments

I love that the real dad jokes are the dad's trying to make a second joke based on the post haha. None of them are funny, they're all dry as the Sahara Desert, but like all good dad's, they're determined to keep trying.

Keep it up you silly gooses!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninthpower
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
The real reason new cell phones break easy is because of gravity.

No phone back then was subject to multiple Gs and now we're up to 5G!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leebo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
We all know that the mushroom was a real fun guy.

At least until he met an anti fun gal.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SampMan87
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my wife I had the body of a young muscled and sexy man, she laughed real hard and me fun of me

Until she looked in the closet

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FarmingFriend
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the new game getting released? It’s AI is 20 years ahead of it’s time, graphics are truly real life, an open world concept where anything you want to do is truly possible. It’s called:

Go outside and ride your bike

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
[OC] Guess The Pun #45 - They've got some real Brass. v.redd.it/fa14imzdybh41
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/monarang
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The sporting goods store downtown was having a big sale on canoe paddles, but traffic and road construction made it real pain to get there...

...yeah, it was quite the ordeal to get the oar deal.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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If Jesus was real they wouldn't call it the crucifixion

They would call it crucifact.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TooShiftyForYou
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Wanna know the real reason nobody is buying corona beer during this pandemic?

They dont want any cases

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DexoPlex828
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
The man working the bar tonight was real soft.

He was a bartender.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Locktaw
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
The real joke is always in the comments
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fanfic_Galore
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m a real social guy, I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet...

I don’t know Y

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElemesUK
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
People used to describe my father as a real β€œMan’s Man” the type to get all the men talking at the party. However he never really spoke to me,

I guess to me he was more of a β€œMime’s Man”.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTayloceraptor
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The love for Brie cheese is real.
πŸ‘︎ 245
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tna1416
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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The first time I ever used an elevator was a real uplifting experience.

The second time was a big let down!!!

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PinkDG
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
The God of Thunder went into real estate.

He's quite the realthor.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
The real joke

is in the comments.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cobblecloth
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report

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