I went to dinner with a cannibal family I know. The conversation was flowing. Their daughter suddenly piped up β€œMummy I don’t like Nanny”. The mother replied...

β€œWell leave her on the side and just eat your vegetables”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
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Where does the Nanny store her clothes?

In her Drescher drawer

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tannerlaw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
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The 10 year old boy I nanny got me with a great dad joke today

I just got a batch of letters from the kids I student taught and was in the middle of writing them back.

Me: I only have 8 more letters to write and then I'm done!

Boy: That won't take long! You just have to write ABCDEFGH and be done!

I've taught him well.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2017
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A robber and a babysitter fall into a crevice.

There’s a crook and nanny in the nook and cranny

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FeedbackUSA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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This is a story that ends in my best joke to date.

I'm a nanny, the family I work for typically hang out for 10-30 minutes before the parents leave me and baby alone, just to chat and catch up, as well as to mitigate any potential meltdowns from a sudden leaving.

Anyway, Baby has started walking and is very keen to investigate everything. Yesterday he was headed straight to the electrical outlet. So I said to him, "oh no that's not a toy! Our fingers don't go there,"

Dad says, "baby disagrees"

"That's shocking."

Dad, "That's better than any dad joke I've come up with"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyDogsNameIsToes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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A Dungeons & Dragons Related Dad Joke...

I'm currently running my players through a D&D adventure titled "Curse of Strahd".

Last session, my players found a journal revealing details about the main villain, Count Strahd Von Zarovich. When they acquired it, I passed the adventure book over--opened up to an illustration depicting the journal's pages--and one of the players proceeded to read. After struggling for a bit, he said, "I'm having a tough time reading this cause it's so cursive."

Yes," I responded. "It's the cursive Strahd."

I had that one chambered and ready for weeks, just waiting for the right moment.

What my players don't know is that I'm also going to include a few other bits of flavor for my them to find as they progress through the game:

  • A fancy handbag with the initials "SVZ" hammered into the leather... the "purse of Strahd"
  • A grave in which the Von Zarovich family nanny is buried... the "nurse of Strahd"
  • A carriage very obviously built to accommodate Strahd's coffin... the "hearse of Strahd"
  • A book full of poetry written during Strahd's younger days, before he was consumed by darkness... the "verse of Strahd"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/transplantasian
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2016
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screwing around with my wife.

After drilling a hole, inserting the plastic sleeve, then driving a philips head to attach the nanny cam securely to the wall in our baby's room...

Wife: "Good job! You nailed it!"

Me: "Actually honey, I screwed it."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TukisOfFire
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2015
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Tragic victim of dad joke

I went to the library with the kids (7 y/o girl, 3 y/o boy) I nanny and got all these children's books for the little boy. We got home and I opened them to read to him and there were no words. Just pictures. Me: Are you kidding me? Little girl: What is it? Me: This book has no words! Girl: You shouldn't of judged the book by its cover. Needless to say she owned me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Supernanny9108
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
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