A formerly blind man finishes his last round of eye surgery to gain his sight. The doctor asks if he has any last questions.

Patient: no, I think I'll see my self out.

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👤︎ u/waldo06
📅︎ Apr 09 2021
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A man took a bullet to the face in a shooting last week. If anyone has any information please call city police.

The only thing they have to go on is the mug shot.

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📅︎ Apr 24 2021
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I got to meet the tallest man in the world last week.

I was disappointed by how he looked down on everyone else.

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📅︎ Jan 07 2021
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A man is being taken to the gallows for his execution. The executioner asked if he had any last requests, and he asked for a high five.

The executioner left him hanging.

👍︎ 342
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📅︎ Oct 15 2020
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I'll never forget my old man's last words before he kicked the bucket:

"Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

👍︎ 97
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📅︎ Jul 03 2020
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A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that's the last thing I need.
👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Sep 21 2018
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A couple of days ago a man from Korea came to r/uruguay looking for help to make the worlds biggest sandwich. Last night (8:00PM for me - 8:00AM for him) we made it posible!
👍︎ 99
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📅︎ May 04 2019
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As the man of the house, I always have the last word when my wife and I disagree about what to do.

Usually it's something like "yes dear."

👍︎ 11
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📅︎ Apr 11 2020
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The man believed to be the last living carver of Mount Rushmore has died.

His legacy will forever be carved in stone

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📅︎ Nov 27 2019
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Got talking to a very cool old man. After finding out he was from England, a World War Two vet and has spent the last thirty two years in the states I had to ask..

Me: so what brought you to the states?

Him: An airplane.

👍︎ 1k
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📅︎ Jul 25 2014
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My wife says she doesn't know who the last man on the moon was...

She doesn't know Jack Schmitt.

👍︎ 13
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📅︎ Mar 14 2019
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I am on the last chapter of a book about the life of an one-legged man.

I have a feeling that his end is afoot.

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📅︎ Nov 24 2018
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The man that invented throat lozenges died last week..

There was no coffin at the funeral.

👍︎ 111
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📅︎ Dec 07 2016
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This is the last time I'm telling you this: I am NOT the Invisible Man.

Did I make myself clear?

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📅︎ May 12 2017
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Told my wife that Gene Cernan, the last man on the moon, died yesterday at the age of 82...

She responds, "Why the heck did they leave him up there for so long!?"

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📅︎ Jan 17 2017
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The man who invented Fairy Bread died last week.

Hundreds and Thousands attended the funeral.

His ashes were Sprinkled.

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Jul 22 2017
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What did the man tell his doctor about the pain he's had in his feet the last 5 years?

It's a long standing problem.

👍︎ 11
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📅︎ Jul 28 2015
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Mom read the headline "Last man found in drug sweep"

Dad: Do they find a lot of drugs by sweeping? Imagine how much they'd get if they vacuumed!

👍︎ 13
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📅︎ Jan 25 2014
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