A man is being taken to the gallows for his execution. The executioner asked if he had any last requests, and he asked for a high five.
The executioner left him hanging.
Two years ago a guy jumped from the 12th floor of my building. It was tragic. Then last year a man fell from the 13th floor...
...but that's a whole nother story.
I'll never forget my old man's last words before he kicked the bucket:
"Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
As the man of the house, I always have the last word when my wife and I disagree about what to do.
Usually it's something like "yes dear."
A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that's the last thing I need.
A couple of days ago a man from Korea came to r/uruguay looking for help to make the worlds biggest sandwich. Last night (8:00PM for me - 8:00AM for him) we made it posible!
Last christmas we bought a fake christmas tree and the man behind the counter said, "Are you going to put it up yourself?"
Disgusted, Dad replied, "Don't be silly, I'm putting it in the living room!"
My wife says she doesn't know who the last man on the moon was...
She doesn't know Jack Schmitt.
Got talking to a very cool old man. After finding out he was from England, a World War Two vet and has spent the last thirty two years in the states I had to ask..
Me: so what brought you to the states?
Him: An airplane.
I am on the last chapter of a book about the life of an one-legged man.
I have a feeling that his end is afoot.
This is the last time I'm telling you this: I am NOT the Invisible Man.
Did I make myself clear?
The man that invented throat lozenges died last week..
There was no coffin at the funeral.
Told my wife that Gene Cernan, the last man on the moon, died yesterday at the age of 82...
She responds, "Why the heck did they leave him up there for so long!?"
The man who invented Fairy Bread died last week.
Hundreds and Thousands attended the funeral.
His ashes were Sprinkled.
What did the man tell his doctor about the pain he's had in his feet the last 5 years?
It's a long standing problem.
Mom read the headline "Last man found in drug sweep"
Dad: Do they find a lot of drugs by sweeping? Imagine how much they'd get if they vacuumed!
